SESAK

I've been home for about 5 weeks now. One word to describe Malaysia : SESAK

Dalam rumah sesak,
penuh dengan barang disumbat-sumbat.

Di jalan raya sesak,
penuh dengan kereta yang suka berasak-asak.
Semua orang nak berkerata,
tapi sayang tak semua nak bertimbang rasa.

Di kaki lima sesak,
penuh dengan manusia yang suka menolak-nolak.
Orang Malaysia memang pelembut,
tapi suka sangat berebut-rebut.
Ajak orang buat reformasi,
tapi diri tak mahu toleransi.

Di warung kopi sesak,
penuh dengan asap yang keluar dari tekak.
Tak ada lagi segan silu,
biarpun yang buat itu gadis melayu.
Asap hitam aku sedut,
Lama-lama dadaku semput.

Dalam bangunan sesak,
Semua orang suka melepak.
Tak apa kalau mahu berehat,
ini tidak, kacau orang terpekik melalak.

Dalam sungai dan laut pun sesak,
ikan, ketam, siput pun tak dapat bergerak.
Sampah sarap penuh selerak,
Warna dari kopi susu terus jadi hitam macam si gagak.

I'm missing my previous life! Saya masih anak jati Malaysia. I do hope you are here for good, as you are one of those who are making my life more alive!

...

Teman : 1. kawan, handai, sahabat, taulan: mengapa sendirian pula, tiada ~, tiada rakan; 2. orang yg bersama-sama melakukan sesuatu, lawan bercakap-cakap (bermain dsb): ~ bercakap; 3. sesuatu sbg pelengkap, jodoh, kawan: buah pinang dimakan orang jadi ~ sirih; 4. Pr ganti diri yg pertama, saya, aku;~ hidup orang yg dijadikan pasangan hidup (isteri atau suami); ~ sejawat kawan sekerja; ~ tetangga jiran; ~ tidur orang yg dijadikan kawan tidur; usahlah ~ dimandikan pagi prb janganlah terlalu memuji-muji;berteman 1. berkawan, bersahabat: sebenarnya kedua-dua orang itu ~ baik; 2. tidak seorang diri, ada kawannya: ke mana pun pergi jarang-jarang aku ~; bertemankan mempunyai (seseorang, sesuatu) sbg teman;menemani 1. turut serta, mengawani, mengiringi, menyertai: dia senang melihat kawannya ~nya duduk di situ; malam itu Ramlan ~ Swee Meng pergi memanggil bidan; 2. ki menjadikan sbg pemakan (nasi dll), melawankan: sayur pucuk ubi ditemani oleh sambal belacan dan ikan goreng; peneman seseorang (sesuatu) yg menjadi teman kpd: hanya linangan air mata ~ duka.

Karib : 1. dekat (hubungan kekeluargaan); ~ (dan) baid dekat dan jauh (sanak saudara); ~ kerabat saudara-mara yg dekat; 2. rapat, erat (persahabatan dll): kawan ~ kawan yg rapat;berkarib bersanak saudara, bersahabat baik, erat (rapat) perhubungannya: ia ~ benar dgn Mak Guna yg bijak itu; mengaribi bersahabat baik dgn, mendekati;mengaribkanmerapatkan atau mengeratkan (persahabatan, persaudaraan, dll);kekariban 1. perihal persaudaraan atau hubungan kekeluargaan; 2. perihal erat atau rapat (perhubungan, persahabatan), keeratan (perhubungan, persahabatan).


Peduli : menaruh minat atau perhatian terhadap sesuatu: Dia tidak ~ akan nasihat orang tuanya. mempedulikan memberikan perhatian terhadap; menghiraukan; mengendahkan: Setelah masuk ke lubang, penyu itu tidak ~ apa-apa lagi.

Care : ~ for, a. look after, menjaga: to be ~d for by relatives, dijaga oleh saudara-mara; b. feel affection for, sayang akan, menyayangi: do you really ~ for him?, adakah kamu benar-benar menyayanginya?; c. be interested in, mengambil berat: to ~ for their well-being, mengambil berat ttg kebajikan mereka; d. like,<.i> suka akan: I do not ~ for such talk, saya tdk suka akan percakapan spt itu; e. like to have, mahu: would you ~ for a piece of cake?, (kamu) mahu sepotong kek?;

Too Posh To Push

Ha, this entry is very related to the run that I am currently doing; O&G.

Another a week and 3 days to go, before I say goodbye to the ladies and pregnant mummies and say hola to general medicine.Something that I dont really look forward to actually. I dont particularly enjoy this run, but I have to say, it is quite interesting.I dont think I would do anything with gynae or obstretic in my future career but for locum, why not! This area of speciality is too emotional for me;good and bad emotional.

1. From my observations, women in labour are the nastiest creature in the world.They can be as mad as the Joker;or even worst than that. They have no mercy. I feel sympathy for the husbands or their partners have to put up with them.I think this is not acceptable.Even though they are in unsurpassable pain, they have no right to be rude to the husbands.One lady said to her husband, "You dont know what Im going through.You are responsible for this. You fucking man!I will never do this again. You bastard!" I mean, seriously woman.Do you have to be that nasty!Your husband did nothing. He just told you to keep pushing, in a very gentleman way!Does he deserve such words, just because you are in labour? I dont think so!Well, as we expected, the minute baby popped put, it's all one big happy family!So, is the hormone that we should put the blame on? LAME! In fact, the progesterone should make women calmer, it acts as tranqualizer in pregnancy. Surprise, surprise!


2. When you are having the contraction, the widwife (or the husband, or the observing Trainee Intern) will ask you to push as hard as you can. Sometimes, the baby isnt out, but the poopoo is. That is so embarrassing. Usually when I saw that 'yuck' face from the husband or from the lady herself, my respond would be, " Hey look,you are having a baby now. You need to push, and you are allowed to pooping at the same time. In fact, that is what we want. At least we know you try very hard with the pushing. Well done you! We want more of those! (Then, I give them a BIG SMILE)". Really??? I dont think I would buy what I just said to them. I could not take the embarrassment of doing your bussiness number 2 in front of people.Obviously not in front of my other half!

3. I am so impressed with husbands out there who are very supportive and loving. They have been a very good support for their wives or partners. You just cant believe what men can do,aye. They look so though, and emotionless.Yet, when it comes to caring and sharing, they become so gentle! Haih~

4. I also observed partners that just dont give a damn.Sometimes, the labour can take ages! Especially with the first time mom, or a very small (Asian) young mom.You can tell the husband had enough of waiting and screaming.They are too tired of waiting, hearing the galloping noise of the continous CTG for monitoring baby's heart rate.The sleepless nights that they have been through and the annoying things that the wife had done to them...owh, they just cant have it anymore!Or, they just dont know what to do, or they dont know how to support their wives. A simple as that. So, each time I saw that situation, I will try to encourage the husband to participant with the labour. Tell him to massage her hands, or her back. Keep telling her to breathe properly, pushing as hard as she can and keep telling her that she has been so goood,she is doing a very good job and we are so proud of her!Just shower the lady with encouragement and good words,man!.Sometimes I do get frustated when they just dont want to do anything.All they want is the baby to be out!Come on, your wife is not a baby's factory!

5. Most women with prolapse that I saw in clinic had previous history of more than 3 vaginal deliveries. Now you know what 'pushing' can affect your 'flower'.


6. All these valuable experiences make me think about the sacrifices and pain that our mother had been through. With world nowadays, I dont think it's worth to risk your life and to feel the pain when at the end, your own baby will be your own enemy. My point is, I dont think I am the best daughter in the world, but I am trying to be as good as I can. I cannot guarantee if my children could be at least as good as I am and if they dont, I would be the most unfortunate person in this world. (Well, who can tell what lies in the future,aye?) I dont know whether with labour, I could turn to monster and inevitably hurt the feeling of person that I loved most (giving the way I am, it is very likely for me to be that...hahhahahhah). Also I dont want to soil myself while in the process of pushing my baby out.It is horrible and humiliating (eventhough I say to ppl it is alrite). With given points, obviously at present I dont think I would be able to have my baby vaginally. Personally, I think vaginal delivery could jeapordise the marriage (well, literally...hehehhe)

Enough said; I am too posh to push! (well, at least for this moment of time. Who knows, it turns out that I am a heck of baby pusher!...hahahhaha)

Dirty Little Secret

I'll keep you my dirty little secret,

Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret

Just another regret, hope that you can keep it

My dirty little secret

Who has to know!

Nuha just let me read her Postsecret Book collection. I just knew that there's such thing in this world-where people create postcards unleashing their secrets to public. They are very creative; revealing many hopes, fears and strange confessions. 

Best juga kalau sekali sekala orang hantar poskad tanpa nama kat kita,kan? (Well, I dont like the idea of that,it will give me sleepless nights!) 

Everybody has their own little secret.

What's my secret?

If I tell you, then I have to kill you...

Then another secret will be created =) 

Shhhh...

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

The strom is coming!

Sir, you need to evacuate now! Your house is not safe anymore. We give you only 10 minutes, sir.

Last week NZ dilanda ribut. The storm caused a number of casuality. I listened to the news, telling that this 1 family needed to be exacuated within 10 minutes.

Kalau anda di tempat kejadian, dalam masa sepuluh minit,apa yang digapai?

Diriku?

-----10 minutes start now... Tik tok tik tok (background music: 4 Minutes by Madonna and JT)

Passport kena cekau dulu,kang tak boleh balik Malaysia.

Wallet sebab ada credit card dan segala jenis card yang menganduni duit.

Celly kena ambil, senang nak berhubung dengan orang karang. Dah ambil Celly,jgn dilupa chargernya.Tak berguna kalau ada Celly xda baterikan?

Ambil beg roda tu, punggah baju dalam wardbrobe sumpat selagi boleh. Kasut sukan kena bawa,kang nak berlari senang.

Gumboot dalam bilik air pun kena bawa juga.Kalau kena meredah air bah,nanti tak basah. Dah duduk dalam bilik air, cekau juga toilettries mana yang patut.Kang takdalah kebersihan diri tak dijaga pula.

Twinny my laptop bawa sekali, Chichi pun kena juga.Mahal tu beli diaorg.

Sleeping bag...tu penting tu!

-----5 minutes more.... (by this time dah penat dah berlari...)

Ke dapur, ambil makanan yang instant. Bekas air kena ambil,sbb saat2 genting mcm ni, air paling berharga. Biskut2 apa yang ada, roti expired pun sapu juga. Just in case~

Sebelum keluar,make sure diri serba lengkap.Jangaqn keluar2,tudung pula lupa pakai.Adoi, dah naya.

Time's up!

[Rasa-rasanya boleh survive seminggu ni kot,kalau kena evacuate. Well done.]

(Tapi kalau ada emergency macam ni, saya akan ke hospital punya~ kena membantu)

---This family, the wife managed to grab almost everyhting from her bedroom in 10 min, the son also did the same. The husband? Well, he just got back from work, too overwhelmed with the 10 minutes warning, he didnt manage to grap anything~ " I wish I could grab my beer,I need it so badly now". Beer je yang dia nak?Haiyyo!

Wishlist

Seems like many Srikandis have changed their title - to Puan...

So, Kelab Puan-Puan bertambah ahli, kelab Cik-Cik berkuranglah pula!

Anyway, girls...this list will help to save your time finding presents for my wed..(insyaAllah kalau ada satu =p )

1. Washing machine (kalau boleh ada dryer sekali, just in case masa bulan tengkujuh.)

2. Dryer machine (kalau tak sekali dgn yg 1)

3. Sofa bed (nanti senang juga kat korang kalau datang umah,nak bermalam.Tak yah rent motel or hotel.Malam tu, boleh kita catch up;pillow talk or bak kata Unai,mesyuarat tingkap =p )

4. Dish washer (orang mmg kata ini membasir,tapi kita kena fikir masa2 kecemasan.Kalau suami isteri busy,siapa yang nak basuh pinggan tu?Kalau tak basuh,ada la yang start membebel.Dah buka radio,haih,habisla perang kecil meletus.Ha,kang elok psychological effect for having dishwasher ni...tangan pun maintain lembut,xdela cik abg bising2 )

Hmm,ni je yang aku wish korang.Tak banyak pun. Korang ada berapa org? Srikandi ada 143. Tu yang generallah.Yang super rapat...xkira lagi...My family from NZ?kome, jgn lari eh...hehehhe

(Kesimpulannya, tgh kebosanan.Maka,kemerepekan pun melanda. Excuse my improper use of Bahasa =p )

- from taocomposition

New Home

Haih,lama sangat tak menulis ni. Berkulapak blog ni!

New beginning at a new place.

Ana is obsessively talking about her basic skill deficits. I reckon each one of us pun ada syndrome ni jugak, betul tak?Like me, ayooo,kalau listkan Ana,I think we just about the same. I am no surprise if my list is longer than yours tau! (Ana is now in Malaysia...sangat iri hati =( no lah,Im happy for you!) ---------Ana, we are going older!And we are learning new skills everyday!

Duduk sorang2; cocktail of feelings. Sometimes I feel relief, sometimes feel blessed, sometimes lonely and bored (maybe most of the time!), sometimes feel peaceful,afraid,anxious etc.You named it,everything is there!

Keluar pagi,jalan ke terminal bus,tunggu bus.Habis kerja pukul 5,tunggu bus setengah jam.Kadang-kadang dalam hujan.Sampai rumah,buka tv,tgk berita.Masak dinner,selalunya beli =) Baca-baca buku, tido. Setiap hari rutin yang sama. Bosan? Surprisingly not. Because I know,next year this will be my life.For how long,I dont know.Maybe life would be more chaotic than now.

Que Sera Sera, What Ever Will Be, Will Be!

pictures courtesy from Farah!

Long Due

My elective quarter is now in the middle way~another few weeks before 3-week holidays!

And, all this time too I've abandoned this bloging thingy.

I'm based at Anwyl Specialist Clinic at Mana Esplanade-attaching myself to the Lady of Dermatology- Dr. Judd. I have to say, I enjoyed it so far.

Bus-Train-Mana Island-Parameta Bay-The Kite Runner



What else could you ask more! owh, maybe a mochachino on board too would be nice.hehehheh

Thanks to Zen- The Kite Runner is such an excellent present!



~~~~Tak sabar nak habis =)

CPR is a default

I've been procrastinating to up-dating my blog for the whole week! Last week, we had the whole class teaching. Dr. Elder and Dr. Adler (nama mcm sama je diorg nih...hehhehe) gave us the tutorial; abt death and dying.

"How do you wanna die?"

Basically, there are 3 type of dying:

1) Quick dying process. This type has a rapid declining graph of life expectancy. Contoh untuk jenis kematian sebegini: death from cancer. Once u have been diagnosed, usually your health declines pretty fast and rapidly hit the bottom: death!

2) Ups and downs dying process. For this one, the graph would be ups and downs. Contohnya orang yang ada sakit kronik.Kadang-kadang kita tengok macam ajal dia dah dekat, tapi alih-alih boleh sihat balik.

3) Gradually dying process. The graph for this one would be gradul declining line. Contohnya,sakit tua.

(tried to find those graphs but it's only in hard-copy)

Jadi, macam mana kita nak mati?Mana satu pilihan hati?

Kita MATI sekali. Kalau boleh, biarlah kita mati dengan dignity.

Aku nak mati dalam keadaan ready;bila dah bersedia mahu bertemu Illahi.

Life and death by Gustav Klimt

Lelah

Best umah dekat pantai. Boleh lepas tensi sambil2 main air.

Korang pernah main tenteng kat tepi pantai?Tak pernah,kan?Jgn jeles eh...

(Eh,ladies,we can make iklan cam Petronas tula...kenapa ombak jahat...budak kecik tu main tenteng kat tepi pantai apa~)

Penat dengan kerja

Tapi tak mahu jadi kuli

Penat dengan manusia

Tapi tak mahu jadi bangkai

Penat dengan diri

Tapi tak mahu jadi basi

Penat dengan dunia

Tapi diri tak mahu mati

OOO Yea???

Kata orang:

-Kawan tanpa kompromi
ooo yea???

- One should love you, the way you are. Not the way she wants you to be. If someone tries to change you, then it's not love, but a compromise... One doesn't compromise in love, rite?
ooo yea???

(courtesy to McN)

"Dah besar anak mak"

Lama betul tak up-date blog ni.Sampai Nuha dah bising-bising =) Currently, I'm doing my psych run.My supervisor still on her annual leave;so at the time, I'm under Dr.Flewett at Community Alcohol and Drug Service.

Dah 24 tahun.Well, will be soon~Macam-macam kena fikirkan?Bila marah pun,nak kena diam-diam.Cakap dengan hati,latih diri.Padahal memang tak boleh pun marah merapu =p

Makin besar,makin kita menjadi matang.Apa itu matang?What is maturity?Balik Malaysia hari tu, C-chotte risau sebab dia tak matang (you are so mature,C-chotte.Believe me).Makin matang seseorang tu,rasanya makin kebudak-budakan dia.Perasan tak?It doesnt make sense,does it?

Tom said ego will grow with age.So does maturity,doesnt it?Therefore,maturity equals to ego.It is not rocket science,pretty self explanatory!Jadi,makin dewasa seseorang itu,makin matanglah dia,makin menebal lah egonya juga.There we go!All making sense now!

Siapa nak jadi orang besar?Semua orang pun nak!Kenapa?Best~Banyak benda boleh buat.Orang pun pandang tinggi kat kita.Ye ke?Tak kot~

Then, you dont want to be an adult?Really?Stay lingering upon your childhood reminiscence?

Masa duduk bujang ni lah baru tahu apa itu berdikari.Nak2 masa tengah belajar/bekerja.Dengan kerenah kawan2 yang kadang2 kita tak faham.Bukan kata kawan,diri sendiri pun kita tak boleh nak faham =D

Found this on the net.Really?Probably applicable for surgeons only...hahhahahha

From my past II

Hari terakhir cuti.

Masih lagi mengemas bilik. (Bila nak sudahnya,Huda~Iskiskisk)

Kali ni aktiviti membaca-baca surat dan kad lama.

Dulu, masa baru datang,banyak sungguh kad dan surat dapat.

Sekarang ni,mentang-mentanglah dah setengah dekad merantau,kad raya pun dapat satu saja.

Iskiskisk,malang Tok Kaduk.

Selepas dipromo pun,masih satu saja yang menjengah.

Tak patutlah korang ni =p

Cerita Sabtu

Awal pagi tadi telefon Kak Yan.Akad nikah malam nanti,esok bersanding.Kak Yan is my cousin.She's 25.Serasa macam baru semalam borak-borak atas katil Kak Nora,duduk bersembang girly stuff.Masa tu ketiga kami baru nak kenal dunia,terutamanya yang tgh bercerita ni.=p Kak Nora and Kak Yan work after their SPM,whereas me continue with the uni.I guess that makes us a lil bit apart;having a different path after the high school.Still we are sisters,bonded by Javanese blood.Hehehhe...Sekarang,Kak Nora dah bersuami 4 tshun,perutnya berisi sebulan (ada ke pula perut,rahim kan?=p).Kak Yan pula bakal duduk satu kelab dengan Kak Nora.Saya lagi terkontang-kanting sorang.Hihihih...I am the eldest,but I am always their sister.Love you guys!
Aunty Rose menjengah ke rumah tengah hari tadi.Cari teman katanya.Bila dah duduk bersembang dengan Aunty,tak sah kalau bukan sejam dua.Lebih dari tu pun mampu.Tak bosan dengan leteran Aunty.
Dari ceramah pasal tatatertib sampailah ke hal rumahtangga.Hahaha..did I say rumahtangga?Ye,Huda! Awak tu dah 23.Welcome to adulthood.
Aunty pesan,kalau kita kerja dlm community services area,jagalah hati orang baik-baik.Nobody should be treated as a 2nd class citizen.Each of us has our value.Different from each other.That is why we need to treat people with same situation differently.Lebih-lebih lagi kalau pekerja kerajaan,nak-nak yang bergelar Doktor M.D.Common penyakit pun,setiap orang kena dirawat dengan berbeza.
Life should be seen from all perspectives.We are living in a glass house.You turn right,you will get different view from the left.Memang senang dicakap,tapi,harap-harapnya,apa yang dicakap akan bawa kepada perbuatan. =)
Apa-apa pun kita buat,kena buat betul-betul dan kena sentiasa ikhlaskan diri.Make sure you make yourself as an asset to your boss.Hehehe..asset eh,Aunty~ Meow...
Aunty pesan lagi, "Kamu ni, nak jadi doctor,make sure kawin sebelum kamu kerja.Once you've entered working life, you will be married to it.No more man~."Agak keras penyataan tu rasanya,kan?Well,perhaps I am not yet in such position to say any comment,as I have never experienced myself.I have seen get married after they work and I have seen women married to their jobs.So, yea...really can't tell which one I'm going to be like.Either way for me,individual options.You have commit to something,obviously you have to sacrifice something else.Clearly,Aunty doesn't agree with me. =p
Bahaya hang out dengan Aunty lama-lama.Maklumlah, orang dah makan garam dulu,pandai betul Aunty meneka apa di dalam ni..Hish~~~ =p Kagum betul tengok orang main teka-teka fikiran orang ni,kan?MasyaAllah~
Melor baru pergi school tadi.Pulang dari Moshim,nak buat pulut hitam.Permintaan khas Zanisha...Hehehe (..dpt juga kita merasa pulut hitam Mel lagi =p).Bukan pulut hitam je Mel bawa ke rumah, dia bawa sekalah buku-buku dari pigeon hole.
I guess, the holiday is over for me.Time to get serious again! Back on track,Huda!
Pretty excited about it.Ye lah, dah menjadi TI kan?Alhamdulillah~
Still a bit worried.I don't think I am ready yet.
With current situation, just Melor and I at home.
No Ana.No Wani.No Zen.No Nuha~
How I wish you guys were here.Support me to overcome this nervousness.
Never take for granted what we usually have~

From the past

Baru tadi punya semangat.

Semangat mengemas bilik. =) Sedang ghairah menyelongkar barang lama,terjumpa pula khazanah dulu.Terus album memori terselak kembali.

Look what I've found from my past...

Inilah Praktikum Hayat 3, KMJ Pioneer 2002/2003

Dia adalah putera katak saya.Saya berjumpa dengan si dia semasa saya menetap di Salmond Hall, 2003. Dari Hawaii dia berasal.Entah di mana si dia sekarang.Hmmm~~~

Sesi bergambar di Oumaru.Trip bersama Abang Amin dan Kak Lah,serta adik-adik saya yang kiut;Izzah,Ain dan Iman.Kamu tahu tak,saya rindu kamu tau.Terutama yang ada dlm gambar itu!Rindu sungguh!

Winter trip 2005 bersama Aseng selaku pemandu, Aini dan Abu. Really fun,guys!

Ini baru kotak pertama.Ada lagi kotak meraung menanti diselongkar.

Bersambung nanti.

The End of Fifth Year

(from previous entry)

4th station
You are a TI in one of the GP practice.A mother concerns about her son who has poorly controlled eczema.

GP station.Fuh,tough.But I should be able to do this.Eczema.Pretty random!Come on,Huda.You have been to eczema clinic with awesome Debbie,the eczema nurse.Argh, kenapalah saat2 begini tak berfungsi minda ni?Tarik nafas.Fuh!

5th station
Alamak! Dr.Stace is here~He is my guru!Salute him!Dr.Rajapakse is here too,accompanying Dr.Stace.Gabra2!Relax Huda!

This gentleman comes in as he complains of being fat.Attached is the lab results for him.Take a focused history and you will be asked few questions after 8 minutes.

I have to admit, I could have done this better.Way better.Sigh~

6th station
"Ok Huda.You are meant to take history from this gentleman who complains of pain around his abdomen started 2days ago.But, he is gone to the loo.Shall we wait for him?We will give you extra time,okay?"

What?Extra time?That isn't possible!The timer is outside,Sandra, she will never know that I start late.When it's 10 minute, I have to get out from this room and move to the next one.How can I get extra time?Impossible, Dr.Larsen!Argh~~~
Alhamdulillah,as I grumbling about, the patient came in.Really, wasnt his fault at all.Nature calls.

OK,you have to take a focused history and perform the abdomen examination.You have 8 minutes.

Huh,as I thought!No extra time.Takpalah.

7th station
Oh,My God! Dr. Elder and Dr. Whiltshire.Peads!Fuh!Nasib baik bukan Dr.Stanley.

This mother comes in as her daughter,Hayley aged 18 months does not gain any weight since 6 months ago. Address her concern and you will be asked to give the summary of your findings and provide a diagnosis.

Very vague.My history taking was crap!Padahal,baru saja lepas peadiatrik modul.Bagaimanakah???

8th station
Dr. Wong and Dr.Raymond were there in the room.OK,must be general med station.Eh,wait, I know this patient.I had him during my General Med OSCE.Bad history I would say~Heh!

Examine this patient's cranial nerves 2,3,4 and 6.Report the findings as you proceed.You will be asked few questions at the end.

Good Lord!I just practiced this with Ana and Mel.Alhamdulillah.Just remember not to confuse Right and Left.

"I would test his visual equity using the Snellen Chart but Im not going to do this now." "Oh,wait.There's a Snellen Chart here.Probably I need to test your vision then."
What the heck!You should check the box first,Huda. Alamak, macam mana nak guna hand Snellen Chart ni?Adoi.Tulah,dulu asyik mention jek,tak nak buat betul2.

9th station
Yeay!Finally!Oh Allah! Tak sabar ni.

Erk! Dr.Maharaj~~~Orang kata dia adalah garang.Intimidating!

This lady presents with 10 years history of incontinence.You have 8 minutes to take history and you will be asked about the management.

Lovely lady,I would say.Alhamdulillah.

"OK, Huda.Tell the patient how would you manage her?"

"....and also we could offer you some medication,Im not quite sure how we give it to you but it will help you overreactive bladder."

"What medication you you give her?"

"Oxybutanin."

"What?How do you know about this?Where you read this from?"

"..err...err...err..."

"This is pretty new.You could get distinction,huh!"

In my mind: "Dia ni perli aku ke apa?Keep the straight face,Huda.Persetankan dia."

"OK, for long term management,what would you do?"

"We could offer you operation..." tetiba kena potong.

"What?Operation?Who are you to perform the surgery?You are a TI.Not a surgeon.Come on, How would you manage her in long term?Come on,come on."

"..err..admit her to the hospital...?"

"No, no,no!"

"..err...err...refer or discuss with my consultant???..."

"No,no,no!Come on, You have ruled out this from your history just now!U know this"

"..err..."

"Time's up!You may leave now!" I can see the frustation in his face.

"Wait, I would refer her to the urology department." and he didnt bother to listen~~~Afterall, my time is up!


----> The end of OSCE.I looked around, searching for a shoulder to cry on.I saw Dylan.Perfect!Would borrow his shoulder.Oh,No!Bukan muhrim.Owh,How I wish Ana or Mel were here to hug me.To comfort me!

"Huda, are you alrite?"

"Noela, thank God you are here.Can you hug me.please?Really need it."

"Sure,Hon"

..and I cried!

(Syukur pada Illahi)

The End of Fifth Year

5 years being here in NZ;3 years down in Dunedin, 2 years up here in windy city of Wellington.

27th October 2007 - Saturday
Huda Zakari - Student number 10, in Group 1 (purple). Starting point will be rest station.

Lengkap tertulis pada slip peperiksaan yang kami terima 2 minggu sebelum.
First group, start with rest station,which means I will not have any rest station while doing this OSCE exams.9 stations without a break.Would be tough!And it was!!!

Ini lakaran yang berlaku pada hari Sabtu,27 Oct 2007:

1st station
You are a TI working here today, this lady comes in to have a discussion about her Fluoxetine medication.She is planning to have a children of her own.Attached is the information sheet for SSRI usage in pregnancy and breastfeeding mother.Address her concern.

Well, at first,I thought this station was a GP station.Sweet!I can nail this!Owh,wait.I didnt know about SSRI in pregnancy.Alamak!Im screwed!OK,Huda.Ini untuk masa depan.Berusahalah!Ya Allah, tolonglah hambaMu ini.OK Huda.Baca je apa yang dia tulis tu.
"Hi there.My name is Huda and I am a trainee intern working here today.Is it okay with you to spend sometime taliking to me?" My opening for every station we had that day,or every time I did my OSCE practices. =) TYPICAL. Ayat hafal! =p
Nasib baik the lady is very nice.
It turned out that station was a psych station! Oh, Lord!

2nd station
You are a TI in surgical outpatient clinic and Mr. X comes in after being referred by his GP. He has been noticing blood from her back passage. Take a focused history and you will be stopped at 6 minutes.

Sweet!Surgery station.You can do this Huda.You just revise this with Ana n Mel yesterday evening.You were the patient.You know what to do.Shine Huda, shine! Mr.Keating was in the room with his registrar. He was the one who responsible to my palpitation.No kidding! He was!
Alhamdulillah, the history part was great.

Next task:Please explain to Mr.X that he needs to have a colonoscopy.

Isk, tetiba mindaku dikatup. Blank! I was stucked at the complication part.And, most important thing,I forgot to say about the biopsy part.Alahai,dah sah2lah kalau masukkan endoscope tu akan dibuat sekali biopsy.Huda,Huda. Mr.Keating said,"Well,there's a lot of things you can do while doing the colonoscopy,you know.Especially in patient that we suspect to have cancer.You may leave now." DUSH!Aku diperli oleh Mr.Keating.

3rd station
Aku berlari ke station 3.Punyalah jauh jaraknya dari station 2.Isk.Dahaga sungguh. Aha,ada sterile gell di luar pintu.Examination station.Apa agaknya menanti di dalam.

Mr.K presents with painful left knee.Perform the knee examination in 5 minutes.After that you will be asked to explain something to Mr.K.

I didn't recognise the examiners.Very unfamiliar faces.No written vignette.And, did I hear left knee?not right?How am I going to do the left side examination when the bed is stuck on the wall?Ok, better ask again."Sir, your left knee is sore,is it right?" "emm,yes.The left one."
Okay,Huda.Put up with it.Look confident! Sigh, of all examinations, why knee? I prefer shoulder over knee.Oh,my Lord.This is my weakest examination.Help me,Allah! Personally, I think I did badly.I could see the examiners looked so angry.Nevermind,Huda.Just proceed to the next task.

Explain what is wrong with the Xray result and address his concern.
Fuh,I'm done with the 2surgery stations.Move on,Huda!


....to be continued (too long to put under 1 entry)

Ramadhan 1

Blues pula tiba-tiba.First day of Ramadhan 1428H here in Wellington.

My 4th year of fasting in Aetearoa. Winter-Spring mood.

Dont know how to describe my feeling right now.A cocktail perhaps.

Excited with this Ramadhan;iftar,sahur,terawikh,etc.

Plus, kita bangga dengan kawan2.Since Ramadhan started, I've received many wishes.

Kebanyakannya,bahasa berbunga2.Tak kisahlah English atau BM,tapi semuanya indah bahasa.

----------------------

Sentiasa setting niat,

Upgrade iman,

Download sabar,

Upload usaha,

Delete dosa,

Update doa,

Top-up ilmu.

Dapatlah redeem pahala banyak2!

------------------------------------------------

May Allah protect you from all harm,

brighten your heart with the Nur of iman,

bless you with the vision of ihsaan,

and elevate you with the greatness of Ramadhan.

---------------------------------------------------------------

And last but not least, from Kakok/Afida.I think she made this herself!Talented!

Tiada syair seindah zikir,

tiada kata seindah Al-Quran,

tiada bulan seindah Ramadhan.

Walau mata tak bertatap,

tangan tak berjabat,

namun hati saling bermaafan.

-------------------------------------

Esok OSCE.

Cuak.

Anxious.

I know I should't be doing this at this second.

Procrastinating.

Rindu nak bersahur dengan mak abah adik2.

Rindu nak pergi pasar malam.

Rindu nak berterawikh dekat Surau Ubudiah.

Sad.

I'm feeling sad.

Why should I feel sad?

I dont know why I feel sad.

Oh,wait!

I know why.

But I couldnt tell.

That's sad.
-------------------------------------------------------

Enough!Balik ke meja study!Esok kita berOSCE =p

Selamat berpuasa,everybody! =]

Bulan Sastera dan Bahasa Negara 2007

Kawan berkongsi...

pagi ni tersentak apabila baca email daripada seorang sahabat... Ucapan tahniahnya tersimpan seribu makna...

terima kasih: norfahmi_ab@yahoo.co.uk dan Mohd Hassan

Tahniah

Assalamualaikum

Hari ni wajar kita ucapkan tahniah kepada diri kita selaku melayu muslim malaysia kerana hari ini 3/9/08 adalah hari terakhir anak2 kita menduduki peperiksaan besar ie UPSR dalam bahasa melayu.

Peperiksaan- peperiksaan besar yang lain PMR dan SPM sememangnya sudah diadakan dalam bahasa Inggeris.

Ya, akan ada orang membuat hujah ini demi kemajuan.

Tetapi bangsa manayang maju hanya dengan mengubah perkara ini? France? Germany? Jepun?

Soalan yang patut kita fikir dan tanya mengapa seluruh parti politik cina, kumpulan pejuang pendidikan cina dan sekutu mereka berjaya memastikan anak2 mereka kekal mengambil peperiksaan peperiksaan ini dalam bahasa ibunda mereka.

Selamat tinggal Bahasa Melayu.

Selamat tinggal Zaa'ba, Usman Awang,Keris Mas, Pak Sako, seluruh pejuang2 kebangsaan, selamat jalan kepada seluruh pemimpin2 yang berusaha mendaulatkan Bahasa Melayu suatu masa dahulu.

Suatu masa dahulu hingga melayu muslim berjaya melahirkan golongankelas menengah yang ramai seperti hari ini. Bahasa Jiwa Bangsa.

Yahudi berjaya hidupkan bahasa Hebrew kembali selepas membina negara.

Jepun teguh dengan bahasanya.

Begitu juga Perancis, Jerman dan seterusnya.

Bahasa Jiwa Bangsa. Sungguh ironi. Mungkin sememangnya bangsa inis udah mati akal dan jiwanya. Selamat Hari Kebangsaan.

----> Mungkin inilah alasan mengapa kita menjadikan bulan September tahun ini sebagai Bulan Sastera dan Bahasa Negara;mungkin untuk memperingati Bahasa Melayu yang lekang dek panas, lapuk dek hujan.

Itu?Ini?

Life is full of choices and life is also about making a decision.

Makin dewasa kita dalam hayat ini, makin banyak pilihan kita ada.Makin variasi pilihan,makin sulit untuk memilih.

We will scream that the world is cruel if we had no choices. The world is still cruel even if we had zillion of choices because we know, there's only one the best among them all.

Pilihan itu berkadar terus dengan tanggungjawab.Tanggungjawab pula berkadar terus dengan kedewasaan.Setuju?

These few weeks, the people from med school have been attacking us (the 5th year students )with lots of papers.Papers that need us to choose only one best choice among them all and need to be returned to them ASAP.Those forms are for our placements for next year: O&G, Surgical team, General Med, Paeds, GP and Psych.

Really, is this the time we should make up our mind about next year's things?I don't think so.I suppose,they want to sort things earlier before 2008 begins. But, this is not the right time to do all these things. We need to study for exams, OSCE,MCQs and end of run exams,etc. Don't add more burden .huhuhu...Have some mercy, will u?

I know I shouldn't been complaining about this. But, how am I suppose to know which place I should go to?Which one is the best for me?

Oh ALLAH, lend me YOUR strength.

Placement for O&G:

-Wellington

-Palmerston North

-Hawkes Bay

-Taranaki

Placement for Paeds:

-Wellington

-Hutt

-Palmerston North

Placement for General Med:

-Wellington

-Palmerston North

-Masterton

Placement for Psych:

-It's abt 6 of them, cant border to list them out =p

Surgery:

-General surgery

-Ortho surgery

It may seem simple, just circle any one of those of each module.Seriously,I need to consider some stuff too.Accomodation, transport, food, logistic,company,and all things that I prefer not to list them here =)

~~~H.E.L.P~~~