..::NuRaNi HaZa::..

Geleng kepala

2009-01-13T01:49:00.002+13:00

Semalam duduk mengeteh dengan kawan di S******* (Ana,im sure u can guess this place =p)

Mata sungguh sakit melihat adik-adik yang baru kenal dunia melepak-lepak.

Kalau lepak je xpe.

Setiap seorang, rokok sebatang di tangan.

Tak kenal jantina,berkepul-kepul asap keluar.

Sekadar gambar hiasan

SESAK

2009-01-09T15:34:00.003+13:00

I've been home for about 5 weeks now. One word to describe Malaysia : SESAK

Dalam rumah sesak,
penuh dengan barang disumbat-sumbat.

Di jalan raya sesak,
penuh dengan kereta yang suka berasak-asak.
Semua orang nak berkerata,
tapi sayang tak semua nak bertimbang rasa.

Di kaki lima sesak,
penuh dengan manusia yang suka menolak-nolak.
Orang Malaysia memang pelembut,
tapi suka sangat berebut-rebut.
Ajak orang buat reformasi,
tapi diri tak mahu toleransi.

Di warung kopi sesak,
penuh dengan asap yang keluar dari tekak.
Tak ada lagi segan silu,
biarpun yang buat itu gadis melayu.
Asap hitam aku sedut,
Lama-lama dadaku semput.

Dalam bangunan sesak,
Semua orang suka melepak.
Tak apa kalau mahu berehat,
ini tidak, kacau orang terpekik melalak.

Dalam sungai dan laut pun sesak,
ikan, ketam, siput pun tak dapat bergerak.
Sampah sarap penuh selerak,
Warna dari kopi susu terus jadi hitam macam si gagak.

I'm missing my previous life! Saya masih anak jati Malaysia. I do hope you are here for good, as you are one of those who are making my life more alive!

...

2008-11-22T23:20:00.003+13:00

Teman : 1. kawan, handai, sahabat, taulan: mengapa sendirian pula, tiada ~, tiada rakan; 2. orang yg bersama-sama melakukan sesuatu, lawan bercakap-cakap (bermain dsb): ~ bercakap; 3. sesuatu sbg pelengkap, jodoh, kawan: buah pinang dimakan orang jadi ~ sirih; 4. Pr ganti diri yg pertama, saya, aku;~ hidup orang yg dijadikan pasangan hidup (isteri atau suami); ~ sejawat kawan sekerja; ~ tetangga jiran; ~ tidur orang yg dijadikan kawan tidur; usahlah ~ dimandikan pagi prb janganlah terlalu memuji-muji;berteman 1. berkawan, bersahabat: sebenarnya kedua-dua orang itu ~ baik; 2. tidak seorang diri, ada kawannya: ke mana pun pergi jarang-jarang aku ~; bertemankan mempunyai (seseorang, sesuatu) sbg teman;menemani 1. turut serta, mengawani, mengiringi, menyertai: dia senang melihat kawannya ~nya duduk di situ; malam itu Ramlan ~ Swee Meng pergi memanggil bidan; 2. ki menjadikan sbg pemakan (nasi dll), melawankan: sayur pucuk ubi ditemani oleh sambal belacan dan ikan goreng; peneman seseorang (sesuatu) yg menjadi teman kpd: hanya linangan air mata ~ duka.

Karib : 1. dekat (hubungan kekeluargaan); ~ (dan) baid dekat dan jauh (sanak saudara); ~ kerabat saudara-mara yg dekat; 2. rapat, erat (persahabatan dll): kawan ~ kawan yg rapat;berkarib bersanak saudara, bersahabat baik, erat (rapat) perhubungannya: ia ~ benar dgn Mak Guna yg bijak itu; mengaribi bersahabat baik dgn, mendekati;mengaribkanmerapatkan atau mengeratkan (persahabatan, persaudaraan, dll);kekariban 1. perihal persaudaraan atau hubungan kekeluargaan; 2. perihal erat atau rapat (perhubungan, persahabatan), keeratan (perhubungan, persahabatan).

Peduli : menaruh minat atau perhatian terhadap sesuatu: Dia tidak ~ akan nasihat orang tuanya. mempedulikan memberikan perhatian terhadap; menghiraukan; mengendahkan: Setelah masuk ke lubang, penyu itu tidak ~ apa-apa lagi.

Care : ~ for, a. look after, menjaga: to be ~d for by relatives, dijaga oleh saudara-mara; b. feel affection for, sayang akan, menyayangi: do you really ~ for him?, adakah kamu benar-benar menyayanginya?; c. be interested in, mengambil berat: to ~ for their well-being, mengambil berat ttg kebajikan mereka; d. like,<.i> suka akan: I do not ~ for such talk, saya tdk suka akan percakapan spt itu; e. like to have, mahu: would you ~ for a piece of cake?, (kamu) mahu sepotong kek?;

Psychiatry

2008-11-16T14:39:00.004+13:00

This year is a psych year...ever!
I've been doing psych attachment for more than 2 months!
Even longer than O&G, Medicine and Surgery!
Yet, I still be in this blankness and perplexity.

Funny how people afraid to judge others when they've been asked to but willfully judge people in subconscious state.

In judging others, we expend energy to no purpose...But if we judge ourselves, our labour is always to our profit.

Thomas a Kemphis

Ya Rabb, grant me the strengths!

Procrastination

2008-11-15T18:24:00.004+13:00

Such a big and sophisticated word for laziness!

********************************************
Too many things had happenned over this week.
The expected and unexpected ones.

What ever happen,
we know,
we must not forfeit.

As this is only one of zillion hurdles
we have to jump,
before reaching our destinations (where ever they may be).

*******************************************************

I'm being nosy =p

2008-10-16T22:34:00.005+13:00

Hey....
PssTT...

WHAT?!!?? Really?!!?

I am HAPPY for you!!!

p.s:Nuha, kalau tak faham,abaikan =)

Al-Qamar

2008-10-14T18:45:00.006+13:00

Malam bulan dipagar bintang
Makin indah jika dipandang
Bagai gadis beri senyuman
Pada bujang idaman

Duhai kasih ingin dimanja
Dengan cumbuan mesra
Untuk pelipurlara
Penawar dik asmara

Malam bulan dipagar bintang
Tambah seri cuaca malam
Murni sungguh ciptaan Tuhan
Bulan bintang lampu alam

Andai kata bintang menyepi
Bulan tidak berseri
Malam menjadi sunyi
Tidak berseri lagi

Wah,semenjak dua menjak ni,lagu sahaja di sini ye =)

Anyway, last night was rather unusual night. I slept with moon staring right at me. Living in the 5th floor,gives me the advantage of that! Unfortunately,this barking cough I'm having for weeks now has woken me up,disturbing my beauty sleep.Anyway, I shouldn't be complaining this hard,should I?

p.s: the lyric isn't so beautiful.Tidak bagus untuk diambil ikhtibar,ye!

What is life nowadays?

With all the wars happening (I mean a real big war,not neighbour war), funny why we're still not appreciating life as we should!

Is this half empty or half full glass?

How do you live your life?

How would you treat a complete stranger?

Is everybody good until proven otherwise or are they bad until proven otherwise?

October

2008-10-11T22:02:00.004+13:00

Bulan baru- rotation baru. Mood baru, kesibukan baru. Semua pun baru. Motivation still same old-same old. Haih~

Tak sanggup lagi aku
Mengenang kisah lalu
Keganasan menghantui diriku
Biarkan ia pergi
Menjadi suatu misteri
Bagaikan tiada hati yang peduli
Tidak mahu ku ingat lagi
Apa yang telah terjadi
Tragedi Oktober
Sesalan aku hanya untukmu sayang
Ampunilah segala dosa-dosaku
Tidak sengaja aku mengasari dirimu
Bagiku kau bukanlah lawanku
Kekasihku...
Hanya satu ku pinta
Kujujuran darimu
Berilah peluang hidupmu
Aku rela bersama
Meranjau onak duka
Agar berkekalan hendaknya

Lagu ni popular masa darjah 5. Tiap kali Oktober dtg,mesti lagu ni jadi siulan.

Also I like this song-by U2:

October
And the trees are stripped bare
Of all they wear
What do I care
October
And kingdoms rise
And kingdoms fall
But you go on

October also is the most imporant month for politicians- those in US and Aetearoa.
Especially for Helen Clark's team and John Key's team- this is the month that they need to sell all the new policies, before the election; 8th Nov 08.

ps: Obviously, our politics are much more interesting then theirs =p

Current PM - Helen Clark from Labour

'1% Kiwi Saver and Tax' man - Mr. John Key from National

What I Like About You 3

2008-09-26T16:52:00.004+12:00

As many people having such unhappy days recently, maybe this ad could help to lift you up!

Smile though your heart is aching;
Smile even though it's breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by.
If you smile through your fear and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow,
You'll see the sun come shining through for you.

Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness.
Although a tear may be ever so near,
That's the time you must keep on trying,
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile,
If you just smile.

Lyrics by John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons.
Music written by Charlie Chaplin, 1936.

This song is quite famous.If you google this, you can find many versions sung by big names like MJackson, Nat King Cole, Barbara Streisand, Robert Downey Jr and my fav of all, Josh Gorban.

p.s: of course this is one of the collection of NZ ad. This one is for AMI insurance =)

What I Like About You 2

2008-09-25T16:47:00.002+12:00

Another nice ad I've seen in TV. Not quite sure whether this is only local or worlwide.And this ad won the best ad of the year 2008. Im not 100% agree with the Kiwis. Come on, there's more than this monkey bussiness!

What I Like About You

2008-09-24T15:47:00.005+12:00

WILAY is one of my favourite series. Amanda Bynes is one of the main actress in that sitcom. And I think Val in that story is similar if not the same as myself...hehehhe...and Im hoping one day I'll have my own version of Vic...hahahha...

Enough with Lalaland, feet right back on the ground!

As we are counting days (we becoz it's not only me who does it =p ) to 'sayonara-ing' Aotearoa, these are a few things that I will be missing soon about this little land.

1. I really like ads here. They are funny, yet meaningful. Some ads I cant really understand at all, then I have to ask Melor.She is really good at interpreting tv's ads.

2. Having a fresh milk for my morning coffee. Fresh milk seems so luxurious back home. Here, it is necessity.Well it's true what the ad said about NZ - beribu juta lembu! (I have proved you the power of ad!)
3. The air is very fresh!I used to walk along Lambton Quay every morning. Lambton Quay is quite a full on area, it's in the heart of Wellington CBD. Yet, you can still feel the freshness of the breeze, even at 1 o'clock in the afternoon!

4. It's really safe to cross roads here. It's because they make full use of the zebra crossing and traffic lights. As simple as that!
That's all I can think of at the mo. Im not stimulated to brainstorming at present. Well, here's one of the cool ads from Aotearoa.

Too Posh To Push

2008-09-23T20:25:00.006+12:00

Ha, this entry is very related to the run that I am currently doing; O&G.

Another a week and 3 days to go, before I say goodbye to the ladies and pregnant mummies and say hola to general medicine.Something that I dont really look forward to actually. I dont particularly enjoy this run, but I have to say, it is quite interesting.I dont think I would do anything with gynae or obstretic in my future career but for locum, why not! This area of speciality is too emotional for me;good and bad emotional.

1. From my observations, women in labour are the nastiest creature in the world.They can be as mad as the Joker;or even worst than that. They have no mercy. I feel sympathy for the husbands or their partners have to put up with them.I think this is not acceptable.Even though they are in unsurpassable pain, they have no right to be rude to the husbands.One lady said to her husband, "You dont know what Im going through.You are responsible for this. You fucking man!I will never do this again. You bastard!" I mean, seriously woman.Do you have to be that nasty!Your husband did nothing. He just told you to keep pushing, in a very gentleman way!Does he deserve such words, just because you are in labour? I dont think so!Well, as we expected, the minute baby popped put, it's all one big happy family!So, is the hormone that we should put the blame on? LAME! In fact, the progesterone should make women calmer, it acts as tranqualizer in pregnancy. Surprise, surprise!

2. When you are having the contraction, the widwife (or the husband, or the observing Trainee Intern) will ask you to push as hard as you can. Sometimes, the baby isnt out, but the poopoo is. That is so embarrassing. Usually when I saw that 'yuck' face from the husband or from the lady herself, my respond would be, " Hey look,you are having a baby now. You need to push, and you are allowed to pooping at the same time. In fact, that is what we want. At least we know you try very hard with the pushing. Well done you! We want more of those! (Then, I give them a BIG SMILE)". Really??? I dont think I would buy what I just said to them. I could not take the embarrassment of doing your bussiness number 2 in front of people.Obviously not in front of my other half!

3. I am so impressed with husbands out there who are very supportive and loving. They have been a very good support for their wives or partners. You just cant believe what men can do,aye. They look so though, and emotionless.Yet, when it comes to caring and sharing, they become so gentle! Haih~

4. I also observed partners that just dont give a damn.Sometimes, the labour can take ages! Especially with the first time mom, or a very small (Asian) young mom.You can tell the husband had enough of waiting and screaming.They are too tired of waiting, hearing the galloping noise of the continous CTG for monitoring baby's heart rate.The sleepless nights that they have been through and the annoying things that the wife had done to them...owh, they just cant have it anymore!Or, they just dont know what to do, or they dont know how to support their wives. A simple as that. So, each time I saw that situation, I will try to encourage the husband to participant with the labour. Tell him to massage her hands, or her back. Keep telling her to breathe properly, pushing as hard as she can and keep telling her that she has been so goood,she is doing a very good job and we are so proud of her!Just shower the lady with encouragement and good words,man!.Sometimes I do get frustated when they just dont want to do anything.All they want is the baby to be out!Come on, your wife is not a baby's factory!

5. Most women with prolapse that I saw in clinic had previous history of more than 3 vaginal deliveries. Now you know what 'pushing' can affect your 'flower'.

6. All these valuable experiences make me think about the sacrifices and pain that our mother had been through. With world nowadays, I dont think it's worth to risk your life and to feel the pain when at the end, your own baby will be your own enemy. My point is, I dont think I am the best daughter in the world, but I am trying to be as good as I can. I cannot guarantee if my children could be at least as good as I am and if they dont, I would be the most unfortunate person in this world. (Well, who can tell what lies in the future,aye?) I dont know whether with labour, I could turn to monster and inevitably hurt the feeling of person that I loved most (giving the way I am, it is very likely for me to be that...hahhahahhah). Also I dont want to soil myself while in the process of pushing my baby out.It is horrible and humiliating (eventhough I say to ppl it is alrite). With given points, obviously at present I dont think I would be able to have my baby vaginally. Personally, I think vaginal delivery could jeapordise the marriage (well, literally...hehehhe)

Enough said; I am too posh to push! (well, at least for this moment of time. Who knows, it turns out that I am a heck of baby pusher!...hahahhaha)

Nervous breakdown

2008-09-19T17:57:00.003+12:00

Malam ku suram Siang ku kelam Ku gelisahan Mencari-cari ke mana pergi Harga diri ini

Bertanyakan berita Merisik khabar Mendengar cerita Melaluinya Kau ku hampiri Tiap hari Bersama luka di hati

Mengapa aku jadi tidak menentu Kerana mu.... oooo...

Ya, sudah lama menyepi,duduk seorang diri di Palmy...

For the past few months, it has been an interesting journey in my life.

Went to Christchurch, spent my quality time with people that I care about (Aini, Unai, Aza-love you all!!) Trip to Oamaru with Mel and Unai; guys, it was awesome! Mengimbau kenangan2 lama =)

Went to see Faliqh Daniel;our little nephew, anak Teh dan Faris.

And, after 2 weeks of O&G, I found myself in the dungeon.Surrounded by nothing but darkness. There, I crashed and burnt.

Dirty Little Secret

2008-08-05T22:29:00.004+12:00

I'll keep you my dirty little secret,

Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret

Just another regret, hope that you can keep it

My dirty little secret

Who has to know!

Nuha just let me read her Postsecret Book collection. I just knew that there's such thing in this world-where people create postcards unleashing their secrets to public. They are very creative; revealing many hopes, fears and strange confessions.

Best juga kalau sekali sekala orang hantar poskad tanpa nama kat kita,kan? (Well, I dont like the idea of that,it will give me sleepless nights!)

Everybody has their own little secret.

What's my secret?

If I tell you, then I have to kill you...

Then another secret will be created =)

Shhhh...

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

The strom is coming!

2008-07-31T19:03:00.003+12:00

Sir, you need to evacuate now! Your house is not safe anymore. We give you only 10 minutes, sir.

Last week NZ dilanda ribut. The storm caused a number of casuality. I listened to the news, telling that this 1 family needed to be exacuated within 10 minutes.

Kalau anda di tempat kejadian, dalam masa sepuluh minit,apa yang digapai?

Diriku?

-----10 minutes start now... Tik tok tik tok (background music: 4 Minutes by Madonna and JT)

Passport kena cekau dulu,kang tak boleh balik Malaysia.

Wallet sebab ada credit card dan segala jenis card yang menganduni duit.

Celly kena ambil, senang nak berhubung dengan orang karang. Dah ambil Celly,jgn dilupa chargernya.Tak berguna kalau ada Celly xda baterikan?

Ambil beg roda tu, punggah baju dalam wardbrobe sumpat selagi boleh. Kasut sukan kena bawa,kang nak berlari senang.

Gumboot dalam bilik air pun kena bawa juga.Kalau kena meredah air bah,nanti tak basah. Dah duduk dalam bilik air, cekau juga toilettries mana yang patut.Kang takdalah kebersihan diri tak dijaga pula.

Twinny my laptop bawa sekali, Chichi pun kena juga.Mahal tu beli diaorg.

Sleeping bag...tu penting tu!

-----5 minutes more.... (by this time dah penat dah berlari...)

Ke dapur, ambil makanan yang instant. Bekas air kena ambil,sbb saat2 genting mcm ni, air paling berharga. Biskut2 apa yang ada, roti expired pun sapu juga. Just in case~

Sebelum keluar,make sure diri serba lengkap.Jangaqn keluar2,tudung pula lupa pakai.Adoi, dah naya.

Time's up!

[Rasa-rasanya boleh survive seminggu ni kot,kalau kena evacuate. Well done.]

(Tapi kalau ada emergency macam ni, saya akan ke hospital punya~ kena membantu)

---This family, the wife managed to grab almost everyhting from her bedroom in 10 min, the son also did the same. The husband? Well, he just got back from work, too overwhelmed with the 10 minutes warning, he didnt manage to grap anything~ " I wish I could grab my beer,I need it so badly now". Beer je yang dia nak?Haiyyo!

Wishlist

2008-07-20T17:11:00.003+12:00

Seems like many Srikandis have changed their title - to Puan...

So, Kelab Puan-Puan bertambah ahli, kelab Cik-Cik berkuranglah pula!

Anyway, girls...this list will help to save your time finding presents for my wed..(insyaAllah kalau ada satu =p )

1. Washing machine (kalau boleh ada dryer sekali, just in case masa bulan tengkujuh.)

2. Dryer machine (kalau tak sekali dgn yg 1)

3. Sofa bed (nanti senang juga kat korang kalau datang umah,nak bermalam.Tak yah rent motel or hotel.Malam tu, boleh kita catch up;pillow talk or bak kata Unai,mesyuarat tingkap =p )

4. Dish washer (orang mmg kata ini membasir,tapi kita kena fikir masa2 kecemasan.Kalau suami isteri busy,siapa yang nak basuh pinggan tu?Kalau tak basuh,ada la yang start membebel.Dah buka radio,haih,habisla perang kecil meletus.Ha,kang elok psychological effect for having dishwasher ni...tangan pun maintain lembut,xdela cik abg bising2 )

Hmm,ni je yang aku wish korang.Tak banyak pun. Korang ada berapa org? Srikandi ada 143. Tu yang generallah.Yang super rapat...xkira lagi...My family from NZ?kome, jgn lari eh...hehehhe

(Kesimpulannya, tgh kebosanan.Maka,kemerepekan pun melanda. Excuse my improper use of Bahasa =p )

- from taocomposition

New Home

2008-07-20T17:10:00.003+12:00

Haih,lama sangat tak menulis ni. Berkulapak blog ni!

New beginning at a new place.

Ana is obsessively talking about her basic skill deficits. I reckon each one of us pun ada syndrome ni jugak, betul tak?Like me, ayooo,kalau listkan Ana,I think we just about the same. I am no surprise if my list is longer than yours tau! (Ana is now in Malaysia...sangat iri hati =( no lah,Im happy for you!) ---------Ana, we are going older!And we are learning new skills everyday!

Duduk sorang2; cocktail of feelings. Sometimes I feel relief, sometimes feel blessed, sometimes lonely and bored (maybe most of the time!), sometimes feel peaceful,afraid,anxious etc.You named it,everything is there!

Keluar pagi,jalan ke terminal bus,tunggu bus.Habis kerja pukul 5,tunggu bus setengah jam.Kadang-kadang dalam hujan.Sampai rumah,buka tv,tgk berita.Masak dinner,selalunya beli =) Baca-baca buku, tido. Setiap hari rutin yang sama. Bosan? Surprisingly not. Because I know,next year this will be my life.For how long,I dont know.Maybe life would be more chaotic than now.

Que Sera Sera, What Ever Will Be, Will Be!

pictures courtesy from Farah!

Long Due

2008-07-07T20:50:00.005+12:00

My elective quarter is now in the middle way~another few weeks before 3-week holidays!

And, all this time too I've abandoned this bloging thingy.

I'm based at Anwyl Specialist Clinic at Mana Esplanade-attaching myself to the Lady of Dermatology- Dr. Judd. I have to say, I enjoyed it so far.

Bus-Train-Mana Island-Parameta Bay-The Kite Runner

What else could you ask more! owh, maybe a mochachino on board too would be nice.hehehheh

Thanks to Zen- The Kite Runner is such an excellent present!

~~~~Tak sabar nak habis =)

Kaboom, accident!

2008-06-08T00:26:00.003+12:00

What a weekend!
We were supposed to meet Aza and PakLong over at Maktam's place, Oamaru.
Nothing as what we planned.
Aza and PakLong had an accident-Aza was sent to Christchurh Hosp by copper, fractured her proximal and distal tibia, also her calcaneous. Big haematoma on her left eye! Seriously, you look like a racoon, Aza! hehhehe
Anyway, dalam sakit-sakit tu pun, sempat lagi kasi my present. Ayoo...

"Derq, ambiklah hadiah ko tu, kat tingkap tu. sebabkan hadiah ko ni la kaki aku patah.aku bersusah selamatkan..."

Serius je Aza ni.
Tapi seriusla, tengok kotak tu. Penyek!Kesan dihenyak kaki Aza. (Aza stucked in the car.People had to call firemen to help her out!)
Gambar tak boleh nak upload lagi.

SEMOGA AZA DAN PAK LONG CEPAT SEMBUH!

Love you guys both!
Terima kasih daun keladi! Hadiah itu sungguh saya sukai!!!!

It's all coming back to me now!

2008-05-21T17:41:00.000+12:00

Here I am, back in the old place,where I belong to.
We were super duper excited and looking fwrd for this elective.
But, as Hamzah's approaching London St, I felt like going home at that moment.I cant imagine myself going through this horrible nasty winter again.NO!!!
Elective wasnt cruisy for us!More than our own medicine run! FULL ON!
DOnt even have time to do my own thing.
Deadline is right at the corner.I havent got any idea what to write about.
I need inspirations!!!
God,please help me!
Im missing Wellington! Welly peeps, u guys miss me?
(kenapa tak boleh post gambar ni?haih~)

KAMI

2008-05-10T19:35:00.004+12:00

To Mahasiswa Biasa,
Anda telah membuatkan saya malas nak balik ke Malaysia.
Terbayang apa akan jadi kalau saya bekerja di sana nanti.
Saya takut kalau semua orang berfikiran seperti saudara.
Kami akui kami kurang pengalaman, kurang praktikal.
Tak sudikah saudara dan kawan-kawan mengajar kami?
Buruk sangatkah perangai kami terhadap pesakit, sampai golongan kami dipanggil golongan kurang ajar?
Kalau kami kekurangan ajaran, tak mahukah saudara dan rakan-rakan mengajar kami?
Soalan saya; mengapa saudara menggunakan nama Mahasiswa biasa? Kami luar biasakah?
Takpalah, itu pendapat saudara.
Kami janji, kami pulang nanti, harap-harap apa yang saudara jangkakan tu, tak menjadi realiti.
Kita jumpa nanti.

(maaf kalau ada yang terasa dengan entri ini, saya terkecil hati sahaja selepas terbaca email kawan kita ni.kejap lagi besarlah balik hati saya eh =p )

courtesy from http://nonowrites.wordpress.com/

CPR is a default

2008-05-10T19:16:00.002+12:00

I've been procrastinating to up-dating my blog for the whole week! Last week, we had the whole class teaching. Dr. Elder and Dr. Adler (nama mcm sama je diorg nih...hehhehe) gave us the tutorial; abt death and dying.

"How do you wanna die?"

Basically, there are 3 type of dying:

1) Quick dying process. This type has a rapid declining graph of life expectancy. Contoh untuk jenis kematian sebegini: death from cancer. Once u have been diagnosed, usually your health declines pretty fast and rapidly hit the bottom: death!

2) Ups and downs dying process. For this one, the graph would be ups and downs. Contohnya orang yang ada sakit kronik.Kadang-kadang kita tengok macam ajal dia dah dekat, tapi alih-alih boleh sihat balik.

3) Gradually dying process. The graph for this one would be gradul declining line. Contohnya,sakit tua.

(tried to find those graphs but it's only in hard-copy)

Jadi, macam mana kita nak mati?Mana satu pilihan hati?

Kita MATI sekali. Kalau boleh, biarlah kita mati dengan dignity.

Aku nak mati dalam keadaan ready;bila dah bersedia mahu bertemu Illahi.

Life and death by Gustav Klimt

Scotty

2008-04-27T07:52:00.003+12:00

Introducing my scooter-the Scotty

I dont know who gave it the me;it came with parcel without the sender.

But I think I can guess who is the person that sent this to me-and I know I owe him a STRAW/PANAMA hat.Still browsing,bro.Not sure which one will suit u better =p

ANZAC Day

2008-04-26T13:11:00.007+12:00

Last week was Poppy Day.

Gallapoli Peninsular

Yesterday was ANZAC day.

The tomb of Unknown-Wellington,NZ

Hari ini mengimbau kembali

91 tahun yang lalu

Gallipoli berhujan peluru,

260 hari darah membanjiri bumi.

Kerana setia pada raja,

keluarga sanggup ditinggalkan.

Kerana ingin mencari maruah,

nikmat dunia dicampak ke belakang.

Berbulan-bulan menempah maut,

ajal datang tak perlu digamit.

Kawan-kawan mati bergelimpangan,

mayat dibiarkan tak bernesan.

Pribumi kini tiada pewaris;

pemuda rebah di bumi asing.

Sampai bila nak jadi kerbau?

Menurut tanpa bersuara,

akibatnya kamu yang rasa

pabila ahli keluarga tak cukup semeja.

ANZAC Day, Wellington CBD

25 April 2006

Drowning into the sea (and I cant swim)

2008-04-13T21:35:00.003+12:00

And I just can’t look - it's killing me

And taking control

Jealousy, turning saints into the sea

Turning through sick lullabies

Choking on your alibis

But it’s just the price I pay

Destiny is calling me

Open up my eager eyes

Cause I’m Mr Brightside

>The Killers<

Tema 2 minggu ini- Cemburu

Ish,rumah ni mmg kuat jealous.Baik aku atau Anna.Tapi aku la kot ketuanya.Sampai sekrang, Zen pun ikut sama.

Sorry Zen,we are suppose to feminize you,but instead,we turned you into jealousy-macho zen!

Jealous.Cemburu.Jaki?Dengki?Semua sama erti ke?

Mungkin tidak~

Lain erti,sama maksud?

Mungkin tidak~

Kenapa mesti cemburu?

Tanda sayang?

Mungkin tidak~

Habis,kenapa masih cemburu?

...no comment...

Bosan2 malam minggu,lepas berlelah di ED,membuang masa membuat ini:

Desire to Be the Center of Attention
Eldest Child Average Score - 5 over 10

MINE - 7/10 (huish,terbukti~)

For many eldest children, being the center of attention can translate to feeling valued and loved. Some eldest children, although not all, are spoiled by being the sole focus of their parent's attention. As younger siblings come along, eldest children tend to feel threatened that they will lose the close relationship they have with their parents. In the attempt to regain their central position in the family, many eldest children become quite skilled at drawing attention to themselves. It is likely that when you are left alone, you may engage in performance-oriented activities, such as dancing or playing a musical instrument. Because of your desire to be the center of attention, you probably tend to be outgoing, entertaining and upbeat when you are around others. However, for many first-borns, the desire to be the center of attention can have negative consequences. Eldest children can be quite self-absorbed and selfish. When things do not go as planned, being rude or having temper tantrums is a possible response.

IS IT???

My first week in ED was really tiring.I have 4 more days to go.~sigh~BIG one!

McDreamy

2008-04-05T17:15:00.002+13:00

Tengah study kat library,sekali terkoya pulak. Ingat masa kecik2 dulu (form 2 still kecik ke?).

After PMR.

--Abah,org ingat kaklong nak berenti sekolah lah?
--Berenti sekolah?Kau gila ke?
--Hahahahha..relax,bah.Bukan berenti belajar.Kaklong tak mo sekolah kat situ lagi je.
--Eik, sekolah dah punya bagus,kamu nak tukar?Kenapa?Kena buli ke?dah nak masuk upper form kena buli lagi?Biar betul!
--Eh, abah.Kita buli orang lagi adalah!
--Habis tu?
--Sekolah tak offer aliran sastera la...
--Kaklong nak jadi apa amik aliran sastera?
--Kaklong nak jadi penyair...
--APA?PENYAIR?

adoi,lawak betul.Terdiam abah dengar.I think he has doubt on me at that time.Tapi salah dia juga,siapa suruh kasi typewriter kat aku masa aku darjah 5?hehehhe...
Rentetan peristiwa di atas, sebab abah dah tak terkata,aku teruskan menjadi SRIKANDI (never regret,bebeh!) Weekends je,aku ngan Hasfa berdating dgn Encik Zulkifli (secara senyap2 ni.pheewittt).Kitorg amik kelas sastera dengan cikgu Zul.Cikgu ni ajar Fizik asalnya.Best wo.Underground class.2 students only.Tapi tak lama sbb cikgu Zul kena sambung belajar overseas.huhuhu. (HASFA, di manakah kamu,dong!Kepingin mahu ketemu!)

Masa form 4

---Zuwa,aku nak jadi Chemical Engineer la.Macam macho je nama dia. (Seriously,at this point,I have no idea what that means...hehehhe..) Ha, tak pun jadi pharmacist.
---Memang macho,derq.Kita masuk UTP nak?
---Weh,best ar tuh.Tapi I think my parents want me to be a doctor la.
---Serious?Apasal?
---Ntahnya.Pasal kaya kot.Aku nyampahla jadi doktor ni.Macam berlagak je.Sangka hebat sgt boleh baikkan sakit orang.Aku paling malas nak jumpa doktor.Orang yang paling tak mesra di alam maya ini.Pelik aku.Diorang ni suka double-standardkan orang. (pergh,aku ingat balik,gell marah aku ngan doctors.now???right back on my face!)
---Apa derq ko merepek ni...hahahhaha.
---Betul la.Ok2,aku tau.Kalu parents aku nak gak aku jadi doctor,aku amek je medic.Pastu,dah grad,aku kasik certificate aku kat parents aku.Pastu aku blaja lagi, nak proceed my dream-nak jadik pharmacist.

Wah2,gell semangat aku dulu.Tak terfikir langsung berapa lama nak blaja tu.

My feet on the ground now.
In my final year of study,I feel like those memories just passed me by. I dont think I can take this anymore.Penat weh jadi student ni.

Pharmacists are brilliant.They can remember all the drugs.They are drug addicts.heheheh.

(cita-cita aku dulu tak merapu ataupun mengarut.but i was grandious...tapi,cita-cita aku sekarang merapu dan mengarut.And I'm still hoping those will become reality.That will be awesome!!!!)

Lelah

2008-04-05T17:00:00.004+13:00

Best umah dekat pantai. Boleh lepas tensi sambil2 main air.

Korang pernah main tenteng kat tepi pantai?Tak pernah,kan?Jgn jeles eh...

(Eh,ladies,we can make iklan cam Petronas tula...kenapa ombak jahat...budak kecik tu main tenteng kat tepi pantai apa~)

Penat dengan kerja

Tapi tak mahu jadi kuli

Penat dengan manusia

Tapi tak mahu jadi bangkai

Penat dengan diri

Tapi tak mahu jadi basi

Penat dengan dunia

Tapi diri tak mahu mati

Comfortably numb!

2008-04-05T16:21:00.002+13:00

It's the end of first 2 weeks of surgeyr attachment.Man,so hard!Pukul 7 dah keluar.Shuruq pun belum lagi.Ayam kuat je berkokok (kalaulah duduk kat kampung kan,xdela kat Welly ni ha...)

Semalam buat long day.Finished at 11pm.Gosh,tired like heaven!

Starting from next week,I'm attached to ED.Will be starting with late shift.Adoila.

I wanted to post pictures of Wellington Hosp, my lovely and flash work-study place =) Alangkah sedihnya,takda satu gambar pun dekat Google.Iskiskisk...punyalah tak famous kan?

Nuha came home after a week in Plamy. Farah is sick;poisoned by the food she had eaten from Food Fest.

Kesimpulan this week: I AM NUMB!!!

Comfortably Numb

"My hands felt just like two balloons"

The Wall, 1979 The first place.

Courtesy from dpchallenge.com

OOO Yea???

2008-03-24T21:03:00.005+13:00

Kata orang:

-Kawan tanpa kompromi
ooo yea???

- One should love you, the way you are. Not the way she wants you to be. If someone tries to change you, then it's not love, but a compromise... One doesn't compromise in love, rite?
ooo yea???

(courtesy to McN)

Kena tinggal lagi!

2008-03-23T12:31:00.007+13:00

Kalau Farah baca ni, sure she'll get mad at me. "Bukan kena tinggal la Kak Udeq,U chose to be left at home!".Im sure that would be her reply.

True, I have been lazy-bum this Easter Break.Declined to join the trip to Rotorua,Taupo,Ohekune etc with Seng,Ana,Unai,Nuha n Zen.And last nite, when girls from upstairs approached me and invited me to join their trip to Wairarapa.Thanks girls!

Sakit lagi badan ni dari netball semalam.Dah season dah ni.Adoila.Camne nak main for April nanti?Ni belum suku abad,kang kalu dah masuk suku abad,badan pun dah kerepot.huhuuhhu

Pernah terfikir tak,kenapa kita kena jaga badan kita?Kenapa orang yg jaga badan (by eating healthy food,exercising,meditating etc) tapi still lagi sakit?Hehe.True,dah takdir Allah.OK,aku dah merepek ni.Serious.Sangap dah duduk dalam bilik ni.

I better end this entry now, and go to sleep (12.44 pm now!)

Getting ready-Red team!

Getting ready-Green team! (My team is Blue.xde sapa nak amek gambar grup kita,Jenny!sadis2)
Meme and Mun preparing the court!

Thanks to everybody for the fun game! Riadah 08

Good Friday!

2008-03-21T14:52:00.004+13:00

Yeay!Cuti!Holiday!Walla~~~

Dekat rumah ni, tinggal Mel,Wani & aku je.

Bebudak lain gi jln2 to Taupo and Rotorua.

Yesterday was my last day in Onco Ward.I like it so much.The team was so friendly.I actually feel like I belong to that team.A month with Onco team taught me a lot about life.Surrounded by people who have cancer,most of them are terminally ill.I witnessed 3 death during my attachment.The first one was affecting me badly.But I know, in the future this is the situation that I have to deal with.While I was there, I saw too many type of people, with different kind of scenarios.I saw this couple,the husband is newly diagnosed Burkitt's Lymphoma patient;the wife asked me whether she can kiss her husband or not-afraid the chemo will affecting her,indirectly.And I replied,"Your husband deserve your kisses,madam!".

Next,Im going for surgery.Something that Im not looking forward too.huhuhuhu..Oh God, give me strengths to do this.8weeks man, 8 freaking week!aduh2!

Anyway, 4days of weekend!5 dvds awaiting for me to put them into the dvd player!

-Cursed

-Like Mike

-Hating Alison Ashley

-Saved!

-Shattered Glass
OK, the marathon starts now!

Satu itu KUAT

2008-03-02T17:51:00.002+13:00

Satu itu tunggal.

Satu itu esa.

Satu itu ganjil.

Satu itu kuat.

Satu is the only.

Kalau dalam satu kelompok yang bersatu,kalau ada satu orang yang tak mahu bekerjasama,kelompok itu akan berpecah.

Sebidang kain putih,putih berseri.Tetiba ada satu tompok hitam.Satu sahaja.Tak berseri dah kain tu.

Satu grup penuh dengan orang yang agak baik, satu sahaja yang bermasalah.Seluruh grup digelar 'bermasalah.'

Yang satu itu memang kuat.

Tak payahlah nak cakap pasal kesatuan kalau saf depan mata pun tak dihiraukan.

Tak payahlah nak berbincang tentang orang lain kalau hati orang lain tak ditimbangkan.

Jangan nak menuding jari kepada orang lain sebab tak tegur kita.Lagi teruk kalau salahkan orang salah menegur kita.

"Aku,kalau ditegur elok2,sure aku berubah,Ni tegur macam apa je,lagi teruk aku jadi adalah"

Untuk diri menelik balik apa yang boleh ditelek.

Hard

2008-02-24T18:15:00.006+13:00

I still remember, the first time I noticed my heart pumps abv 150bpm was during the psych run, back in 2006.Then during the tutorials with Mr.King and Mr.Keating.Holly and Dylan were there,counting my pulse,each time they saw my pales-looking face.

I just finished my psych run last week.This time, viva was my enemy!I bet the examiners noticed my shaky hands,restless legs and quivery voices. Still waiting for the result~

So, what have I done this month?

My first shooting experince!

Officers at the graduation day of Waioru Military Camp

Medieval Market at Levin

Sisters' camp at Kaitoke,Upper Hutt

"Dah besar anak mak"

2008-02-05T21:32:00.000+13:00

Lama betul tak up-date blog ni.Sampai Nuha dah bising-bising =) Currently, I'm doing my psych run.My supervisor still on her annual leave;so at the time, I'm under Dr.Flewett at Community Alcohol and Drug Service.

Dah 24 tahun.Well, will be soon~Macam-macam kena fikirkan?Bila marah pun,nak kena diam-diam.Cakap dengan hati,latih diri.Padahal memang tak boleh pun marah merapu =p

Makin besar,makin kita menjadi matang.Apa itu matang?What is maturity?Balik Malaysia hari tu, C-chotte risau sebab dia tak matang (you are so mature,C-chotte.Believe me).Makin matang seseorang tu,rasanya makin kebudak-budakan dia.Perasan tak?It doesnt make sense,does it?

Tom said ego will grow with age.So does maturity,doesnt it?Therefore,maturity equals to ego.It is not rocket science,pretty self explanatory!Jadi,makin dewasa seseorang itu,makin matanglah dia,makin menebal lah egonya juga.There we go!All making sense now!

Siapa nak jadi orang besar?Semua orang pun nak!Kenapa?Best~Banyak benda boleh buat.Orang pun pandang tinggi kat kita.Ye ke?Tak kot~

Then, you dont want to be an adult?Really?Stay lingering upon your childhood reminiscence?

Masa duduk bujang ni lah baru tahu apa itu berdikari.Nak2 masa tengah belajar/bekerja.Dengan kerenah kawan2 yang kadang2 kita tak faham.Bukan kata kawan,diri sendiri pun kita tak boleh nak faham =D

Found this on the net.Really?Probably applicable for surgeons only...hahhahahha

From my past II

2007-11-18T13:58:00.000+13:00

Hari terakhir cuti.

Masih lagi mengemas bilik. (Bila nak sudahnya,Huda~Iskiskisk)

Kali ni aktiviti membaca-baca surat dan kad lama.

Dulu, masa baru datang,banyak sungguh kad dan surat dapat.

Sekarang ni,mentang-mentanglah dah setengah dekad merantau,kad raya pun dapat satu saja.

Iskiskisk,malang Tok Kaduk.

Selepas dipromo pun,masih satu saja yang menjengah.

Tak patutlah korang ni =p

Cerita Sabtu

2007-11-17T17:11:00.000+13:00

Awal pagi tadi telefon Kak Yan.Akad nikah malam nanti,esok bersanding.Kak Yan is my cousin.She's 25.Serasa macam baru semalam borak-borak atas katil Kak Nora,duduk bersembang girly stuff.Masa tu ketiga kami baru nak kenal dunia,terutamanya yang tgh bercerita ni.=p Kak Nora and Kak Yan work after their SPM,whereas me continue with the uni.I guess that makes us a lil bit apart;having a different path after the high school.Still we are sisters,bonded by Javanese blood.Hehehhe...Sekarang,Kak Nora dah bersuami 4 tshun,perutnya berisi sebulan (ada ke pula perut,rahim kan?=p).Kak Yan pula bakal duduk satu kelab dengan Kak Nora.Saya lagi terkontang-kanting sorang.Hihihih...I am the eldest,but I am always their sister.Love you guys!
Aunty Rose menjengah ke rumah tengah hari tadi.Cari teman katanya.Bila dah duduk bersembang dengan Aunty,tak sah kalau bukan sejam dua.Lebih dari tu pun mampu.Tak bosan dengan leteran Aunty.
Dari ceramah pasal tatatertib sampailah ke hal rumahtangga.Hahaha..did I say rumahtangga?Ye,Huda! Awak tu dah 23.Welcome to adulthood.
Aunty pesan,kalau kita kerja dlm community services area,jagalah hati orang baik-baik.Nobody should be treated as a 2nd class citizen.Each of us has our value.Different from each other.That is why we need to treat people with same situation differently.Lebih-lebih lagi kalau pekerja kerajaan,nak-nak yang bergelar Doktor M.D.Common penyakit pun,setiap orang kena dirawat dengan berbeza.
Life should be seen from all perspectives.We are living in a glass house.You turn right,you will get different view from the left.Memang senang dicakap,tapi,harap-harapnya,apa yang dicakap akan bawa kepada perbuatan. =)
Apa-apa pun kita buat,kena buat betul-betul dan kena sentiasa ikhlaskan diri.Make sure you make yourself as an asset to your boss.Hehehe..asset eh,Aunty~ Meow...
Aunty pesan lagi, "Kamu ni, nak jadi doctor,make sure kawin sebelum kamu kerja.Once you've entered working life, you will be married to it.No more man~."Agak keras penyataan tu rasanya,kan?Well,perhaps I am not yet in such position to say any comment,as I have never experienced myself.I have seen get married after they work and I have seen women married to their jobs.So, yea...really can't tell which one I'm going to be like.Either way for me,individual options.You have commit to something,obviously you have to sacrifice something else.Clearly,Aunty doesn't agree with me. =p
Bahaya hang out dengan Aunty lama-lama.Maklumlah, orang dah makan garam dulu,pandai betul Aunty meneka apa di dalam ni..Hish~~~ =p Kagum betul tengok orang main teka-teka fikiran orang ni,kan?MasyaAllah~
Melor baru pergi school tadi.Pulang dari Moshim,nak buat pulut hitam.Permintaan khas Zanisha...Hehehe (..dpt juga kita merasa pulut hitam Mel lagi =p).Bukan pulut hitam je Mel bawa ke rumah, dia bawa sekalah buku-buku dari pigeon hole.
I guess, the holiday is over for me.Time to get serious again! Back on track,Huda!
Pretty excited about it.Ye lah, dah menjadi TI kan?Alhamdulillah~
Still a bit worried.I don't think I am ready yet.
With current situation, just Melor and I at home.
No Ana.No Wani.No Zen.No Nuha~
How I wish you guys were here.Support me to overcome this nervousness.
Never take for granted what we usually have~

Hadith 1

2007-11-13T08:33:00.001+13:00

Credit to sister Hawa =)

Khazanah di zaman silam

2007-11-13T07:29:00.000+13:00

HATI MENANGIS SIAPA TAHU

Sahabat
Mengertikah kau
Akan perasaanku
Yang terbahagi
Oleh persahabatan dan keakraban

Aku manusia daif
Yang sering alpa
Tanggungjawab terhadapmu
Aku ibarat gelas
Walau buruk macam manapun
Walau cantik macam mana pun
Air akan tetap bergenang dalam tubuhku

Teman
Manusia tak pernah lari dari kesilapan
Manusia tidak pernah lari dari kealpaan
Kealpaan yang menghancurkan persahabatan

Tolong,sahabat!
Tolonglah daku
Maafkanlah daku
Lupakanlah kesalahanku

Tuhan
Ampunilah ralatku
Ralat yang dicucuk iblis
Tuhan
Pujuklah hati temanku
Untuk memaafkanku

Teman
Jika kau berkeras hati
Tidak memaafkanku
Biarlahku bawa diri
Dengan rasa ketakutan menjadi hiasan diri

Lama sudah kusimpan sajak ini,sedari ia mula tertulis.1998.Dah dekat sedekad!

No title

2007-11-13T07:07:00.000+13:00

Don't know when I made this.Obviously not this recent =)

(Lama betul Huda tak menulis ya?Iskiskisk...)

Biarlah diam menongkat dagu
Menunggu tetamu bilakan menjengah
Dari resah gelisah hati ragu
Melayan dia yang banyak kerenah

Diam itu indah
Apabila hati mengalun simfoni
Hingar itu anugerah
Apabila kita ketemu harmoni

Doubutsu Uranai

2007-11-13T06:35:00.000+13:00

I found this from my hard disc.Let's see who true it is =)

Huda

June/11/1984

Female
You are Red Wolf

Who is not afraid of meeting new people, and are kind to everybody. (Hohohoh...I dont think so.It scares a hell of me when it comes to meeting new people.I am the nervous one, you see.)
You are very sociable and extremely innocent woman. (I kindda agree with this =p)
There are many unique type of people in Red Wolf. You are bold enough to push your own way, without being restricted by tradition and common knowledge. (Wow,so not true! I am limiting myself to the very traditional way of life.Open-minded though!)
You don't care what the other people think of you. You want to do as you wish. Therefore, your life style and preferences are little bit different from others. (Ek,wrong again.What people say about me is the uttermost)
You dislike having no style of your own. (Emm,maybe~)
You possess your own sense of balance, and you create your own environment. (Again,maybe~)
You have sharp instinct that you use in daily life. This makes you do a good job of life. (Ooo..This would be Anna's.Not me.I am a thinker rather a feeler)
You are very pure inside, but this sometimes can create misunderstanding. (I'm gonna say "Oh,That is so true")
Once you decide on something, you will definitely carry it out. But that may be today or a year later. This makes it difficult to plan other things. (I am soo the other way round)
You ought to be careful not to give up so easily. (Really?Hmm~~~)
Although you tend to be rather unique, the way you look for originality makes you successful in the field of designing and planning. (Hahaha..the only field that I am really bad at)
You are cheerful and have dreams, so you can adapt to circumstances quite easily. (Easy,but it takes great efforts,aye!And,yeas! I have zillion of dreams =p)
You have a good sense of balance. (Huh?I cant balance my life up,and I cant even ride a bike!)
You can think and calculate about your future. (Who can?)
You may go for an arranged marriage. (I like the idea of it, dream of it but I dont think my parent would agree with it...huhuhu..poor me)

Seems like more againts than pro.Nganganga~~~

From the deepest me

2007-11-12T16:02:00.000+13:00

It's all coming back to me now.
Maybe people might say "It's so cliche."Nevermind.I find it the same too!
But for real,the feeling that I had a week after the exams finished (or a week before the results were ready for us) just the same when I waited for my PMR results.
It was 8years ago. My sleepless nights (although I found myself woke up quite late everyday~), the uncomfortable feelings within me etc.Couldn't put them all in one word!Owh,wait.Maybe there's one-MISERABLE!
Failure is what I fear for at this moment.Not just me, everybody! I found this quotation is rather popular within the past few weeks "Failure is simply a price we pay to achieve success!"Often seen in blogs or shoutbox.Exam fever,I reckon.
8 years ago, I called school office, to know my PMR results.Alhamdulillah,I got 8As.Sadly, my friends couldn't make it.Supposely I should feel joyful with my own result but reality I wasnt. Abah told me not to worry about them.It wasnt my fault that they couldnt make it.Even not theirs.It was just written by HIM.Been living together for 3 years;sharing the good and bad moments,made our sisterhood grows even stroger each day.When it's only you who reached the top, and others still struggling,it wasnt fun at all.
Now, the tragedy repeats.Before I proceed,Alhamdulillah, praise to Allah.Who has granted me what I wanted,for so long.For myself,mak,abah,adik2,cikgu2 and family.Of all people, I would thank people who always be there for me, during my great and worst time-Anna Mohamad,Melor Khairul Bakri, Shazwani Jaafar Sidek, Ayuni Mohamed,Siti Zunairah Jaafar,Azalea Khairuddin,Ailin Omar,Nusaibah Azman.You guys don't know how important you are to me.I really mean it,truly.Here, I thank you all. (And also to Holly Shine,Neil Avery and Aimee Hawker-my OSCE groupmates) Somehow, I am afraid.What will be taken away from me as I have gotten my dream. I wished for this since forever,and I wonder how much will I need to pay for it. Life is a bumpy road.For sure, we are not always on the top.I feel like I'm on the top at the moment.I don't know what will bring me down again.I said to Sasmira once ,"I don't like to be on the top.When you fall,you will hurt youself badly.It's better to stay in the middle of the wheel.Flat and boring.But it just the way I like it." But you know,being on the top would always be a dream of mine.I could only dream of it,not strong enough to experience it myself.
Perhaps,life isn't as simple as that.It has all written in Luh Mahfuz.

“Adakah kamu mengira kamu akan masuk Syurga, padahal belum datang kepada kamu dugaan seperti yang datang kepada orang-orang sebelum kamu. Mereka ditimpa malapetaka dan kesengsaraan serta digoncangkan (dengan berbagai cubaan) sehingga berkata Rasul dan orang-orang beriman bersamanya, “Bilakah datangnya pertolongan Allah,?”. Ingatlah sesungguhnya pertolongan Allah itu dekat” (Al-Baqarah:214).
Ayat ini betul-betul menyedarkan diri yang hanyut.Diri yang masih lagi tak utuh bila dibedal taufan duniawi.Macam mana nak balik tanah tumpah darah kalau diri masih ditakuk lama.Macam mana nak merubah dunia kalau penghuni jasad tak mahu bertukar rupa.

From the past

2007-11-11T22:53:00.000+13:00

Baru tadi punya semangat.

Semangat mengemas bilik. =) Sedang ghairah menyelongkar barang lama,terjumpa pula khazanah dulu.Terus album memori terselak kembali.

Look what I've found from my past...

Inilah Praktikum Hayat 3, KMJ Pioneer 2002/2003

Dia adalah putera katak saya.Saya berjumpa dengan si dia semasa saya menetap di Salmond Hall, 2003. Dari Hawaii dia berasal.Entah di mana si dia sekarang.Hmmm~~~

Sesi bergambar di Oumaru.Trip bersama Abang Amin dan Kak Lah,serta adik-adik saya yang kiut;Izzah,Ain dan Iman.Kamu tahu tak,saya rindu kamu tau.Terutama yang ada dlm gambar itu!Rindu sungguh!

Winter trip 2005 bersama Aseng selaku pemandu, Aini dan Abu. Really fun,guys!

Ini baru kotak pertama.Ada lagi kotak meraung menanti diselongkar.

Bersambung nanti.

The End of Fifth Year

2007-11-11T16:27:00.000+13:00

(from previous entry)

4th station
You are a TI in one of the GP practice.A mother concerns about her son who has poorly controlled eczema.

GP station.Fuh,tough.But I should be able to do this.Eczema.Pretty random!Come on,Huda.You have been to eczema clinic with awesome Debbie,the eczema nurse.Argh, kenapalah saat2 begini tak berfungsi minda ni?Tarik nafas.Fuh!

5th station
Alamak! Dr.Stace is here~He is my guru!Salute him!Dr.Rajapakse is here too,accompanying Dr.Stace.Gabra2!Relax Huda!

This gentleman comes in as he complains of being fat.Attached is the lab results for him.Take a focused history and you will be asked few questions after 8 minutes.

I have to admit, I could have done this better.Way better.Sigh~

6th station
"Ok Huda.You are meant to take history from this gentleman who complains of pain around his abdomen started 2days ago.But, he is gone to the loo.Shall we wait for him?We will give you extra time,okay?"

What?Extra time?That isn't possible!The timer is outside,Sandra, she will never know that I start late.When it's 10 minute, I have to get out from this room and move to the next one.How can I get extra time?Impossible, Dr.Larsen!Argh~~~
Alhamdulillah,as I grumbling about, the patient came in.Really, wasnt his fault at all.Nature calls.

OK,you have to take a focused history and perform the abdomen examination.You have 8 minutes.

Huh,as I thought!No extra time.Takpalah.

7th station
Oh,My God! Dr. Elder and Dr. Whiltshire.Peads!Fuh!Nasib baik bukan Dr.Stanley.

This mother comes in as her daughter,Hayley aged 18 months does not gain any weight since 6 months ago. Address her concern and you will be asked to give the summary of your findings and provide a diagnosis.

Very vague.My history taking was crap!Padahal,baru saja lepas peadiatrik modul.Bagaimanakah???

8th station
Dr. Wong and Dr.Raymond were there in the room.OK,must be general med station.Eh,wait, I know this patient.I had him during my General Med OSCE.Bad history I would say~Heh!

Examine this patient's cranial nerves 2,3,4 and 6.Report the findings as you proceed.You will be asked few questions at the end.

Good Lord!I just practiced this with Ana and Mel.Alhamdulillah.Just remember not to confuse Right and Left.

"I would test his visual equity using the Snellen Chart but Im not going to do this now." "Oh,wait.There's a Snellen Chart here.Probably I need to test your vision then."
What the heck!You should check the box first,Huda. Alamak, macam mana nak guna hand Snellen Chart ni?Adoi.Tulah,dulu asyik mention jek,tak nak buat betul2.

9th station
Yeay!Finally!Oh Allah! Tak sabar ni.

Erk! Dr.Maharaj~~~Orang kata dia adalah garang.Intimidating!

This lady presents with 10 years history of incontinence.You have 8 minutes to take history and you will be asked about the management.

Lovely lady,I would say.Alhamdulillah.

"OK, Huda.Tell the patient how would you manage her?"

"....and also we could offer you some medication,Im not quite sure how we give it to you but it will help you overreactive bladder."

"What medication you you give her?"

"Oxybutanin."

"What?How do you know about this?Where you read this from?"

"..err...err...err..."

"This is pretty new.You could get distinction,huh!"

In my mind: "Dia ni perli aku ke apa?Keep the straight face,Huda.Persetankan dia."

"OK, for long term management,what would you do?"

"We could offer you operation..." tetiba kena potong.

"What?Operation?Who are you to perform the surgery?You are a TI.Not a surgeon.Come on, How would you manage her in long term?Come on,come on."

"..err..admit her to the hospital...?"

"No, no,no!"

"..err...err...refer or discuss with my consultant???..."

"No,no,no!Come on, You have ruled out this from your history just now!U know this"

"..err..."

"Time's up!You may leave now!" I can see the frustation in his face.

"Wait, I would refer her to the urology department." and he didnt bother to listen~~~Afterall, my time is up!

----> The end of OSCE.I looked around, searching for a shoulder to cry on.I saw Dylan.Perfect!Would borrow his shoulder.Oh,No!Bukan muhrim.Owh,How I wish Ana or Mel were here to hug me.To comfort me!

"Huda, are you alrite?"

"Noela, thank God you are here.Can you hug me.please?Really need it."

"Sure,Hon"

..and I cried!

(Syukur pada Illahi)

The End of Fifth Year

2007-11-10T11:52:00.000+13:00

5 years being here in NZ;3 years down in Dunedin, 2 years up here in windy city of Wellington.

27th October 2007 - Saturday
Huda Zakari - Student number 10, in Group 1 (purple). Starting point will be rest station.

Lengkap tertulis pada slip peperiksaan yang kami terima 2 minggu sebelum.
First group, start with rest station,which means I will not have any rest station while doing this OSCE exams.9 stations without a break.Would be tough!And it was!!!

Ini lakaran yang berlaku pada hari Sabtu,27 Oct 2007:

1st station
You are a TI working here today, this lady comes in to have a discussion about her Fluoxetine medication.She is planning to have a children of her own.Attached is the information sheet for SSRI usage in pregnancy and breastfeeding mother.Address her concern.

Well, at first,I thought this station was a GP station.Sweet!I can nail this!Owh,wait.I didnt know about SSRI in pregnancy.Alamak!Im screwed!OK,Huda.Ini untuk masa depan.Berusahalah!Ya Allah, tolonglah hambaMu ini.OK Huda.Baca je apa yang dia tulis tu.
"Hi there.My name is Huda and I am a trainee intern working here today.Is it okay with you to spend sometime taliking to me?" My opening for every station we had that day,or every time I did my OSCE practices. =) TYPICAL. Ayat hafal! =p
Nasib baik the lady is very nice.
It turned out that station was a psych station! Oh, Lord!

2nd station
You are a TI in surgical outpatient clinic and Mr. X comes in after being referred by his GP. He has been noticing blood from her back passage. Take a focused history and you will be stopped at 6 minutes.

Sweet!Surgery station.You can do this Huda.You just revise this with Ana n Mel yesterday evening.You were the patient.You know what to do.Shine Huda, shine! Mr.Keating was in the room with his registrar. He was the one who responsible to my palpitation.No kidding! He was!
Alhamdulillah, the history part was great.

Next task:Please explain to Mr.X that he needs to have a colonoscopy.

Isk, tetiba mindaku dikatup. Blank! I was stucked at the complication part.And, most important thing,I forgot to say about the biopsy part.Alahai,dah sah2lah kalau masukkan endoscope tu akan dibuat sekali biopsy.Huda,Huda. Mr.Keating said,"Well,there's a lot of things you can do while doing the colonoscopy,you know.Especially in patient that we suspect to have cancer.You may leave now." DUSH!Aku diperli oleh Mr.Keating.

3rd station
Aku berlari ke station 3.Punyalah jauh jaraknya dari station 2.Isk.Dahaga sungguh. Aha,ada sterile gell di luar pintu.Examination station.Apa agaknya menanti di dalam.

Mr.K presents with painful left knee.Perform the knee examination in 5 minutes.After that you will be asked to explain something to Mr.K.

I didn't recognise the examiners.Very unfamiliar faces.No written vignette.And, did I hear left knee?not right?How am I going to do the left side examination when the bed is stuck on the wall?Ok, better ask again."Sir, your left knee is sore,is it right?" "emm,yes.The left one."
Okay,Huda.Put up with it.Look confident! Sigh, of all examinations, why knee? I prefer shoulder over knee.Oh,my Lord.This is my weakest examination.Help me,Allah! Personally, I think I did badly.I could see the examiners looked so angry.Nevermind,Huda.Just proceed to the next task.

Explain what is wrong with the Xray result and address his concern.
Fuh,I'm done with the 2surgery stations.Move on,Huda!

....to be continued (too long to put under 1 entry)

Cerita ceretera

2007-10-14T09:33:00.001+13:00

Orang kata, cerita yang bagus akan jadi contoh.
Cerita yang tak bagus,dijadikan tauladan.
Tapi, kita tak rasa cerita yang tak bagus menjadi tauladan.
Orang kita suka meniru.
Yang tak baik dan yang baik, semua jadi contoh.
(okay, I'm talking crappy...)

Here are some of the good stories, highly recommended!

Syukur 21
Diari Ramadhan Rafique (especially 1st season)
My wife and kids (this is hillarious; good for parenting education)

The list will be updated every now and then.

Whakatane

2007-10-04T18:50:00.000+13:00

Room 75,

Staff Accomodation

Whakatane Hospital

Bay of Plenty

New Zealand.

4th October 2007

7.40 pm

6.40 pm

5.40 pm

7.40 am

6.40 am

5.40 am

I like the 6.40 am one!

What is yours?

Pre-Raya

2007-09-29T09:31:00.000+12:00

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri.

Place: 12 Drummond St - 15 Ramadhan 1428

My heart~~~

2007-09-19T19:23:00.000+12:00

LUBB DUBB

Sadness is beautiful,

Loneliness is tragical.

So help me!I can't win this war.

Touch me now don't bother.

If every second it makes me weaker.

You can save me from the man I've become.

Looking back on the things I've done.

I was trying to be someone.

Play my part.Kept you in the dark.

Now let me show the SHAPE OF MY HEART.

Really,what is the shape of your heart?What is the shape of my heart?Does the heart have a shape?How many heart shapes are there?

Can't help but to hear this song playing over and over again when Dr.Aitken lectured us on Heart problems in Paediatrics thus afternoon.My mind switched on it's radio when he mentioned "Kids with Tetralogy of Fallot (pronounced as fallo)will have boot-shaped heart.The apex sort of turn upward.I know it's hard to see a boot here, but you have to take my words for this".Then, this BSB old song keep on playing in my head until now.

I still remember last year,when we had a session with Dr.O'meghan from Hutt Hospital, he asked what a heart is?All boys (I mean it,not exagerating) and minority of XX answered "heart is a muscular structure,pumping blood to the whole body,supplying oxygen, blablabla...". And, not surprise, majority of the girls answered heart as an organ that tells you the feelings.

Anyway, this entry is about SHAPE of the heart.Nothing else.Iskiskisk, we can talk about this tiny little organ forever.MasyaAllah~~~ (ia kecil, ia gagah!).

Apa lagi bentuk yang ada untuk si hati (atau si jantung?)

Egg-shaped heart is for Transposition of the great arteries.
Real egg heart =)

Snowman heart is for Total anomalous Pulmonary venous return.

Ok, lepas ini,pakat ramai-ramai tengok chest x-ray dekat cardiology department or paediatric ward, look for these shapes of heart,aye!

Study time!

Ramadhan 1

2007-09-14T14:53:00.000+12:00

Blues pula tiba-tiba.First day of Ramadhan 1428H here in Wellington.

My 4th year of fasting in Aetearoa. Winter-Spring mood.

Dont know how to describe my feeling right now.A cocktail perhaps.

Excited with this Ramadhan;iftar,sahur,terawikh,etc.

Plus, kita bangga dengan kawan2.Since Ramadhan started, I've received many wishes.

Kebanyakannya,bahasa berbunga2.Tak kisahlah English atau BM,tapi semuanya indah bahasa.

----------------------

Sentiasa setting niat,

Upgrade iman,

Download sabar,

Upload usaha,

Delete dosa,

Update doa,

Top-up ilmu.

Dapatlah redeem pahala banyak2!

------------------------------------------------

May Allah protect you from all harm,

brighten your heart with the Nur of iman,

bless you with the vision of ihsaan,

and elevate you with the greatness of Ramadhan.

---------------------------------------------------------------

And last but not least, from Kakok/Afida.I think she made this herself!Talented!

Tiada syair seindah zikir,

tiada kata seindah Al-Quran,

tiada bulan seindah Ramadhan.

Walau mata tak bertatap,

tangan tak berjabat,

namun hati saling bermaafan.

-------------------------------------

Esok OSCE.

Cuak.

Anxious.

I know I should't be doing this at this second.

Procrastinating.

Rindu nak bersahur dengan mak abah adik2.

Rindu nak pergi pasar malam.

Rindu nak berterawikh dekat Surau Ubudiah.

Sad.

I'm feeling sad.

Why should I feel sad?

I dont know why I feel sad.

Oh,wait!

I know why.

But I couldnt tell.

That's sad.
-------------------------------------------------------

Enough!Balik ke meja study!Esok kita berOSCE =p

Selamat berpuasa,everybody! =]

Ramadhan

2007-09-11T06:39:00.001+12:00

KITA

2007-09-09T17:04:00.000+12:00

MELAYU- Dato' Dr. Usman Awang

Melayu itu orang yang bijaksana

Nakalnya bersulam jenaka

Budi bahasanya tidak terkira

Kurang ajarnya tetap santun

Jika menipu pun masih bersopan

Bila mengampu bijak beralas tangan.

Melayu itu berani jika bersalah

Kecut takut kerana benar

Janji simpan di perut

Selalu pecah di mulut

Biar mati adat

Jangan mati anak.

Melayu di tanah Semenanjung luas maknanya:

Jawa itu Melayu,

Bugis itu Melayu

Banjar juga disebut Melayu,

Minangkabau memang Melayu,

Keturunan Acheh adalah Melayu,

Jakun dan Sakai asli Melayu,

Arab dan Pakistani, semua Melayu

Mamak dan Malbari serap ke Melayu

Malah mua'alaf bertakrif Melayu

Dalam sejarahnya

Melayu itu pengembara lautan

Melorongkan jalur sejarah zaman

Begitu luas daerah sempadan

Sayangnya kini segala kehilangan.

Melayu itu kaya falsafahnya

Kias kata bidal pusaka

Akar budi bersulamkan daya

Gedung akal laut bicara.

Malangnya

Melayu itu kuat bersorak

Terlalu ghairah pesta temasya

Sedangkan kampung telah tergadai

Sawah sejalur tinggal sejengkal tanah sebidang mudah terjual.

Meski telah memiliki telaga

Tangan masih memegang tali

Sedang orang mencapai timba.

Berbuahlah pisang tiga kali Melayu itu masih bermimpi

Walaupun sudah mengenal universiti

Masih berdagang di rumah sendiri.

Berkelahi cara Melayu

Menikam dengan pantun

Menyanggah dengan senyum

Marahnya dengan diam

Merendah bukan menyembah

Meninggi bukan melonjak.

Watak Melayu menolak permusuhan

Setia dan sabar tiada sempadan

Tapi jika marah tak nampak telinga

Musuh dicari ke lubang cacing

Tak dapat tanduk telinga dijinjing

Maruah dan agama dihina jangan

Hebat amuknya tak kenal lawan.

Berdamai cara Melayu indah sekali

Silaturrahim hati yang murni

Maaf diungkap senantiasa bersahut

Tangan dihulur sentiasa bersambut

Jika pun tidak lagi berparut.

Baiknya hati Melayu itu tak terbandingkan

Selagi yang ada sanggup diberikan

Sehingga tercipta sebuah kiasan:

"Dagang lalu nasi ditanakkan

Suami pulang lapar tak makan

Kera di hutan disusu-susukan

Anak di pangkuan mati kebuluran.

Bagaimanakah Melayu abad dua puluh satu

Masihkan tunduk tersipu-sipu?

Jangan takut melanggar pantang

Jika pantang menghalang kemajuan;

Jangan segan menentang larangan

Jika yakin kepada kebenaran;

Jangan malu mengucapkan keyakinan

Jika percaya kepada keadilan

Jadilah bangsa yang bijaksana

Memegang tali memegang timba

Memiliki ekonomi mencipta budaya

Menjadi tuan di negara Merdeka

----------------------------------------------

Ihsan: Muhammad Aznel

http://muhdaznel.multiply.com/tag/sajak%20%22melayu%22

Understanding Islam

2007-09-07T21:04:00.000+12:00

TOO LATE FOR TEARS

Death knocked on

a bedroom door.

"Who is there?"
the sleeping one cried.

"I'm Angel Izrael,let me in."

At once, the man began to shiver
as one sweating in deadly fever.

"Don't take away my life.

Please go away.

O Angel of Death,
I'm not ready yet.

My family, on me depend,
give me chance
to go back and mend."

The Angle knocked again.

"O man,
it's your soul that I require,
I come not with my own desire."

Bewildered,the man began to cry.

"O Angel, I'm so afraid to die,
let me remain here as your slave,
don't send me to the grave."

"Let me in,O man,"the Angel said.

"Open the door,
get up from your bed,
you can't stop me from coming in,
Angels can go through objects,
thick and thin."

The man held a gun in his right hand,
ready to defy the Angel's stand.

"I'll point my gun towards your head
You dare come in-I'll shoot you dead."

By now, the Angel was in the room,
saying,"O man-prepare for your doom,
foolish man-Angels never die,
put down your gun and do not sigh.

Why are you afraid-tell me O man-
to die according to Allah's plan?"

"O Angel, I bow my head in shame,
I had no time to remember Allah's name.

From dawn till dusk, I made my wealth,
not even caring for my spiritual health.

Allah's commands I never obeyed,
nor five times a day I ever prayed.

A Ramadhan came
and a Ramadhan went,
but no time had I to repent.

The Hajj was already obligatory upon me,
but I would not part with my money.

All charities I did ignore,
taking usury more and more.

Sometimes I sipped my favourite wine,
with flirting women I sat to dine.

O Angel I appeal to you,
spare my life for a year or two.

The laws of The Quran, I will obey,
I'll begin Salat - this very day.

My Fast and Hajj, I will complete,
and keep away from self-conceit.

I will refrain from usury
and give all my wealth to charity.

Wine and unlawful women,
I will detest,
Allah's oneness I will attest."

"We Angels do what Allah demands,
we cannot go againsts His commands.

Death is ordained for everyone -
father,mother,daughter and son.

I'm afraid, this moment is your last,
now be reminded of your past.

I do understand your fears
but it is now too late for tears.

You lived in this world,
two score or more.

Your parents you did not obey,
hungry beggars, you turned away.

Your two ill-mannered, female offspring,
in nightclubs, for livelihood they sing.

Instead of making more Muslims,
you made your children non-Muslims.

You ignored the Athan (call to prayer)
nor did you recite The Holy Quran.

Breaking promises all your life,
backbiting friends and causing strife.

From hoarded goods,
great profits you made,
and your poor workers -
you underpaid.

Horses and cards were your leisure,
money-making was your pleasure.

You ate and ate
and grew more fat,
with the very sick, you never sat.

A little donation, you never gave
that could a little baby save.

You thought
you're clever and strong,
but O man,
you've done enough wrong.

Paradise for you?I cannot tell,
the disbeliever will dwell in hell.

There is no time for you to repent,
I'll take your soul for which I am sent."

--------------------------------------------
Adapted by Dr Y Mansoor Marican from "Operaton Death" by G.H.E Vanker

Bulan Sastera dan Bahasa Negara 2007

2007-09-03T19:56:00.000+12:00

Kawan berkongsi...

pagi ni tersentak apabila baca email daripada seorang sahabat... Ucapan tahniahnya tersimpan seribu makna...

terima kasih: norfahmi_ab@yahoo.co.uk dan Mohd Hassan

Tahniah

Assalamualaikum

Hari ni wajar kita ucapkan tahniah kepada diri kita selaku melayu muslim malaysia kerana hari ini 3/9/08 adalah hari terakhir anak2 kita menduduki peperiksaan besar ie UPSR dalam bahasa melayu.

Peperiksaan- peperiksaan besar yang lain PMR dan SPM sememangnya sudah diadakan dalam bahasa Inggeris.

Ya, akan ada orang membuat hujah ini demi kemajuan.

Tetapi bangsa manayang maju hanya dengan mengubah perkara ini? France? Germany? Jepun?

Soalan yang patut kita fikir dan tanya mengapa seluruh parti politik cina, kumpulan pejuang pendidikan cina dan sekutu mereka berjaya memastikan anak2 mereka kekal mengambil peperiksaan peperiksaan ini dalam bahasa ibunda mereka.

Selamat tinggal Bahasa Melayu.

Selamat tinggal Zaa'ba, Usman Awang,Keris Mas, Pak Sako, seluruh pejuang2 kebangsaan, selamat jalan kepada seluruh pemimpin2 yang berusaha mendaulatkan Bahasa Melayu suatu masa dahulu.

Suatu masa dahulu hingga melayu muslim berjaya melahirkan golongankelas menengah yang ramai seperti hari ini. Bahasa Jiwa Bangsa.

Yahudi berjaya hidupkan bahasa Hebrew kembali selepas membina negara.

Jepun teguh dengan bahasanya.

Begitu juga Perancis, Jerman dan seterusnya.

Bahasa Jiwa Bangsa. Sungguh ironi. Mungkin sememangnya bangsa inis udah mati akal dan jiwanya. Selamat Hari Kebangsaan.

----> Mungkin inilah alasan mengapa kita menjadikan bulan September tahun ini sebagai Bulan Sastera dan Bahasa Negara;mungkin untuk memperingati Bahasa Melayu yang lekang dek panas, lapuk dek hujan.

Itu?Ini?

2007-09-02T18:09:00.000+12:00

Life is full of choices and life is also about making a decision.

Makin dewasa kita dalam hayat ini, makin banyak pilihan kita ada.Makin variasi pilihan,makin sulit untuk memilih.

We will scream that the world is cruel if we had no choices. The world is still cruel even if we had zillion of choices because we know, there's only one the best among them all.

Pilihan itu berkadar terus dengan tanggungjawab.Tanggungjawab pula berkadar terus dengan kedewasaan.Setuju?

These few weeks, the people from med school have been attacking us (the 5th year students )with lots of papers.Papers that need us to choose only one best choice among them all and need to be returned to them ASAP.Those forms are for our placements for next year: O&G, Surgical team, General Med, Paeds, GP and Psych.

Really, is this the time we should make up our mind about next year's things?I don't think so.I suppose,they want to sort things earlier before 2008 begins. But, this is not the right time to do all these things. We need to study for exams, OSCE,MCQs and end of run exams,etc. Don't add more burden .huhuhu...Have some mercy, will u?

I know I shouldn't been complaining about this. But, how am I suppose to know which place I should go to?Which one is the best for me?

Oh ALLAH, lend me YOUR strength.

Placement for O&G:

-Wellington

-Palmerston North

-Hawkes Bay

-Taranaki

Placement for Paeds:

-Wellington

-Hutt

-Palmerston North

Placement for General Med:

-Wellington

-Palmerston North

-Masterton

Placement for Psych:

-It's abt 6 of them, cant border to list them out =p

Surgery:

-General surgery

-Ortho surgery

It may seem simple, just circle any one of those of each module.Seriously,I need to consider some stuff too.Accomodation, transport, food, logistic,company,and all things that I prefer not to list them here =)

~~~H.E.L.P~~~

ISLAM

2007-09-01T10:05:00.000+12:00

http://www.senikehidupan.com/

ALHAMDULILLAH

Ya Rabb

Pintaku jangan kau campakkan usahaku,jatuh kembali dari pengangkatan ke langit.

Ya Illahi

Terimalah perjuanganku ini.Jika tak sempurna lagi,hantarkanlah utusan pembetulan penyuluh silapku.

Ya 'Aziz

Kau yang berhak ke atas hidupku,maka jadikanlah ia yang terbaik.Janganlah kau palingkan hati ini lagi.

Ya Allah

Letakkanlah hati ini di atas jalanMU,alurkan jiwa ini terus ke sungai kehambaan kepadaMU.

Ya Rahim

Sekali lagi rayuku,janganlah kau sia-siakan kehidupan ku ini.

KepadaMu lah aku kembali.

Amin ya rabbal 'alamin

Letter for us

2007-08-31T12:23:00.000+12:00

Merdeka anniversary: Bridge that racial divide

By : TAN SRI LEE LAM THYE, Member, National Unity Advisory Panel

AS Malaysia celebrates its 50th Merdeka anniversary, it is indeed an opportune time for all to reinforce their love for the nation.

Allow me to stress once again that the fundamentals that have brought us together are the very principles contained in Rukun Negara and the Constitution. Rukun Negara was formulated in 1970 and set out to achieve consensus with regard to national aspirations among the races.

Rukun Negara, through its five tenets — belief in God, loyalty to king and country, upholding the Constitution, rule of law, and good social behaviour and morality — have formed the principles of our nationhood and these should be impressed on our younger generation.It is our guide for nation-building and should be respected by all. It is a shared vision for national unity.

Its principles should always be upheld and practised for we must never take for granted our stability, peace and harmony.On the contrary, efforts must be made to make sure that ethnic integration and religious harmony are maintained as they are the foundations for peace and unity in our multiracial nation.

Let us not allow extremism and violence to divide the nation. Whether Malaysia will succeed as a multi-racial nation depends on whether our young ones are prepared to accept each other as Malaysians with a common destiny. Young people must be unconscious of the fact that the person sitting next to him is of another race and religion. They must be aware of only one thing, that he is their friend.

With each passing day, I am more convinced that Malaysians must break down the racial divide, reach out and make friends with those from other communities. Youth of different races must strengthen racial integration. Schools are the ideal place to promote racial integration. Teachers and parents must help out in this process. Parents must encourage their children to mix with others of different races so that they can better understand one another’s religion, culture and way of life.

Conscious and sustained efforts must be made to break the racial divide among students of diverse races to overcome racial polarisation.In this connection, the introduction of National Service is one way of dealing with polarisation.Parents should encourage their children to take part in the programme as it instils discipline, patriotism, goodwill and unity in young people.

Today’s students are our future leaders. Upon their shoulders lie the responsibility of building a united nation.

http://www.nst.com.my/Current_News/NST/Wednesday/Letters/20070829083813/Article/index_html

Malaysiaku Gemilang

2007-08-31T11:38:00.000+12:00

Terpanggil untuk mengulas petikan dari saudara Brian Yap,penulis bagi kolum di NSTP. http://www.nst.com.my/Current_News/NST/Wednesday/Columns/20070829074506/Article/index_html

The article called " We can decide what being Malaysian means". Menarik?Menarik...

"I DIDN’T choose to be Malaysian. And, I suspect, neither did almost all of you. Unless I was singled out, I don’t think any of us were given a say in certain matters: Our place of birth, ethnic background, or our parent."

Itu pembuka kata beliau. Logik?Logik...

Tak perlulah mengulas satu persatu artikel Mr. Yap. Apa yang pentingnya di sini, Mr. Yap mengajak kita untuk memilih apa erti menjadi seorang warganegara Malaysia.Bagus?Bagus...

Rakyat Malaysiakah kita kalau kita melaungkan "Merdeka"? Atau rakyat asingkah kita kalau kita tak melaungkan kata "keramat" itu?

Warganegara Malaysiakah kita kalau kita lancar berbahasa Malaysia?Bahasa Malaysia atau Bahasa Melayu?Jadi, orang Brunei dan orang Indonesia berbahasa apa?Bukan bahasa Melayu? Jadinya,tak adillah kalau kita mengambil hak milik Bahasa Melayu khas hanya untuk Malaysia.

Durian?Orang Thailand pun menanam durian.Kalau abah kita nak beli durian pun, kita memilih durian Siam dari durian Pahang.Jadi, durian pun bukan hak milik khas Malaysia.

Being overseas, makes me think more deeply about the being a Malaysian. When people here ask "What is Malaysia like?",I can't fluently answer that question. Tough.

Adakah saya tak cukup ke"Malaysia"an lagi?Tak cukup patriotikkah saya?Tak kenal lagikah saya dengan tanah tumpah darah sendiri?

Semalam berchatting dengan seorang rakan. "Tak keluar celebrate merdeka day ke?"

Macam mana nak menyambut hari kemerdekaan,ya?

Apa tujuan kita menyambut merdeka?Kita bangga menjadi rakyat yang merdeka? Kalau usia kita lebih 50 tahun, layaklah mungkin nak membangga.Tapi kalau kita seusia jagung, apa kontribusi kita kepada kemerdekaan?

After 50 years, maybe it's time for us to rethink about our motherland. Rethink and do something about it.

APA MAKSUD KITA SEBAGAI SEORANG RAKYAT MALAYSIA?

Soalan bonus: Ingat lagi Rukun Negara yang 5?

Reality Check 3

2007-08-30T14:38:00.001+12:00

Saya tak menentang merdeka.

Saya bukan tak mengenang budi.

Saya adalah anak Malaysia.

Truly, I'm proud to be one!

::SALAM MERDEKA::

Reality check 2

2007-08-30T14:10:00.000+12:00

JAYAKARTA

Tahukah kita pada Fatahillah?Pernah dengarkah kita Fadhillah Khan?Siapa dia?Atau siapa mereka?

Sehari lepas, kami menonton cerita lama sari seberang;Fatahillah.

Menceritakan tentang pembukaan Jakarta.

Mengisahkan tentang pahlawan Islam yang menuntut ilmu di Mesir, pulang ke negara seberang, memerintah kerajaan DAMAK.

Cerita yang berlatar belakangkan kisah benar pada kurun 1513, sewaktu Portugis 'melanggar' kepulauan Nusantara, merodok malang si Melaka, Acheh, Pasai dan segala macam kerajaan Islam yang sedang merangkak kegemilangan.

Kegoblokan kerajaan Pajajaran bersetuju untuk menjadi kawan Portugis telah memanggil kerajaan Maluku untuk ke kerajaan Damak supaya ditentangnya tentera rempah itu (konon rempah).

Pada saat orang rempah tengah bermaharajala, teguh nan perkasa, siapa yang mahu menentang mereka?Fadhillah Khan telah bersetuju untuk memimpin tentera Islam untuk perangi si gerilla rempah itu.

Since that night,I knew that the old Jakarta wasn't like the new Jakarta.The old Jayakarta has been built by Islam. The new Jakarta has abondoned Islam.Kacang yang lupakan kulit mungkin?

Ini baru di Jakarta.

Tempat sendiri?

Tepuk dada,tanya iman.

Esok genap setengah abad kita melaungkan kata "MERDEKA". Apa benar kita sudah merdeka?

Reality check

2007-08-29T12:34:00.000+12:00

Program Musim Bunga 2007

APA ITU UKHWAH?
Cuti kali ni, Wani membawa anak buah usrahnya bercamping bersama-sama di Drummond St. Masuk kali ni, dah 3 kali kami berkumpul beramai-ramai.But, for each time, we have to start the ta'ruf agian and again. Those names are really hard to be remembered.I bet they never memorize our names either. Kenapa macam tu eh?

Alasan pertama: sebab jarang jumpa.
Alasan kedua: byk lgi benda nak diingat selain nama meraka.
Alasan ketiga: tiada kepentingan untuk dihafal (kejam betul alasan~~~)
Alasan keempat: no reason =) (jujur sungguh~~~)

Jadi, setelah berkali-kali berta'ruf, kali ini, mereka bercamping di rumah kami. Kami ada masa 3hari 2malam untuk mengenal hati budi masing-masing.Alhamdulillah,after the final session, we managed to not confuse ourselves with their names again. Harap-harapnya, kalau jumpa lain kali, tak dalah tersasul nama lagi =)

APA ITU RISALAH?
Bukan senang nak jadi khalifah di muka bumi Allah ni. Tak susah nak tersasar dari jalan yang lurus. Ukhwah dah terbina, tinggal lagi arah dan tujuan kena fokuskan. We know that we are here to study, to get our degree.But that is not the only reason why we are here. IJAZAH DAN RISALAH. Dua benda yang berbeza,tapi saling bersangkut paut. Dua-dua ada kepayahan masing-masing.Dua-dua ada kemanisan masing-masing.

APA ITU JIHAD?
[Jihad?What a big word~~~
Jihad? Shuh, that is sensitive issue~~~]

Fahamkah kita dengan jihad?

Rasulullah bersabda:"Sesiapa yang meninggal dunia tanpa berjihad atau berniat untuk berjihad,sesungguhnya dia mati dalam jahiliyyah"-Hadith Sahih

~Long due~

2007-08-04T20:45:00.000+12:00

HUJAN

Menggeletar dalam bilik.
Terasa bukan macam selalu.
Buka jendela...hujan di luar.

Senyap sungguh hujan turun.
Tak macam di sana, guruh petir pembuka kata.
Sini tak tahu hujung pangkal, sedar-sedar bumi dah basah.
Patutlah suhu menjunam.

Selesai isya',langit masih menangis.
Sebak pula rasa di hati.
Sudah lama hati kering.

Bersurai jemaah, fikiran melayang.
Sambil menatap cermin yang basah.
Lama betul tak amati penghujanan.
Selama jiwa ini tidak hayati penusabahan.

Bila dah sedar,aturlah langkah.
Cepat-cepat menyusun azam.
Malam ini kita bermula semula.
Dari sifar merangkak ke menara.

Perjuangan Yang Belum Selesai

2007-07-06T22:37:00.000+12:00

Perjuangan Yang Belum Selesai

Langkah, beribu langkah
Ke destinasi yang diimpi
Tiba terhenti, tercari-cari
Haluan arah, yang telah pun musnah
Harapan tak kesampaian

Hina, hinanya diri
Hanya menantikan bantuan
Bagaimanakah ini terjadi
Kerdilnya diri bukan lagi tuan
Inikah rupanya nasib bangsaku

Langkah demi langkah
Biarkah bertatih
Impian kan juga terlaksana
Martabat diri ini, tiadakan bererti
Tanpa usaha, janganlah leka
Mewah negaraku semerbak harumnya
Renjisan keringat oh bangsaku

Teruskan langkah ini
Biarkan ia kekal selamanya...

( bridge )
"Bangsaku bukan kecil hati dan jiwanya
Bukankah sejak zaman berzaman
Mereka menjadi pelaut, pengembara
Malah penakluk terkemuka?
Bukankah meraka sudah mengembangkan sayap
Menjadi pedagang dan peniaga
Selain menjadi ulama dan ilmuan terbilang?
Bukankah bangsaku pernah mengharung samudera
Menjajah dunia yang tak dikenal?
Bukankah mereka pernah menjadi wira serantau
Yang tidak mengenal erti takut dan kematian?
Di manakah silapnya?"

Langkah demi langkah
Biarkah bertatih
Impian kan jadi terlaksana
Martabat diri ini, tiadakan bererti

Usahalah, janganlah leka
Mewah negaraku semerbak harumnya
Renjisan keringat oh bangsaku

Teruskan langkah ini
Biarkan ia kekal sentiasa...

( ending )
"Hari ini, jalan ini pasti semakin berliku
Kerana masa depan belum tentu menjanjikan syurga
Bagi mereka yang lemah dan mudah kecewa
Perjuangan kita belum selesai
Kerana hanya yang cekal dan tabah
Dapat membina mercu tanda
Bangsanya yang berjaya"

~NoRa~

Echopraxia

2007-06-30T21:59:00.000+12:00

LATAH

Melatahlah kamu,
kalau itu bisa membuat kamu tahu,
yang jalan itu bukan yang satu,
membawa kamu terus ke situ.

Melatahlah kamu,
kalau itu yang perlu,
buat sedarkan hati yang membatu,
sebelum tubuh terbujur kaku.

Biar melatah sekarang,
jangan menangis di belakang.
Jika masih ada ruang,
bertatihlah lekas agar tak terus kecundang.

Melatahlah, jangan selalu melatah.
Takut nanti tersilap langkah,
akhir nanti kau akan rebah,
tak bangun-bangun terus kalah.

GKLN Event

2007-06-29T09:33:00.000+12:00

Assalamualaikum.

BENGKEL PENULISAN MUSIM PANAS GRUP KARYAWAN MPR LUAR NEGARA 2007

Sukacita dimaklumkan sebuah bengkel penulisan akan diadakan pada6-8 Ogos 2007 dengan kerjasama Grup Karyawan Luar Negara, MPR, dan juga DBP. Bengkel ini terbuka kepada semua pelajar-pelajar/ penulis yang sedang menuntut di luar negara (tidak kira di Universiti atau negara mana sekalipun).Bengkel 3 hari 2 malam ini akan diadakan di sebuah hotel di Kuala Lumpur (atau sekitarnya) yang akan dipilih kemudian oleh pihak DBP. Semua kos penginapan, makan minum, dan bahan bengkel akan dibiayai oleh pihak DBP sepenuhnya. Tiada yuran dikenakan.

Seramai 20 orang peserta diperlukan, dan bengkel dijangka (dalam perancangan) dibimbing oleh Pn Zaharah Nawawi untuk cerpen, Pn Siti Salmiah Ismail untuk puisi, dan juga dirancang slot untuk Puan Nisah Haron (slot hak cipta dan etika penulisan) serta Sdr Faisal Tehrani (penulisan novel). Walaubagaimanapun tentatif tertakluk kepada perubahan dan aturcara lengkap akan disusun/dikendalika n oleh pihak DBP serta dimaklumkan kepada para peserta kemudian.Setiap peserta akan diminta menghantar satu cerpen atau sejumlah puisi untuk tujuan dibedah dan dibincangkan semasa bengkel. (Tarikh pengumpulan karya serta jumlah puisi yang diperlukan akan ditetapkan kemudian).

Oleh yang demikian, pihak DBP meminta senarai nama sekitar 20 orang peserta dari Grup Karyawan Luar Negara yang bakal menyertai bengkel penulisan ini supaya urusan tempahan dan urusan lain dapat dilaksanakan segera.

KEPADA YANG BERMINAT UNTUK MENYERTAI BENGKEL INI SILA SERAHKAN

1)NAMA PENUH
2)ALAMAT DI MALAYSIA
3)NO KP
4)NO TELEFON
5)EMEL
6)KARYA -CERPEN ATAU PUISI (bagi mereka yang telah ada)

kepada saya (saudara Fadh Razy) SECEPAT MUNGKIN:

AHMAD FADHLIL MOHAMAD PAKARUL-RAZY (FAHD RAZY)
mailto : fahd_razy@yahoo.co.uk
0390769363 / 0172687225

Tempat terhad. Keutamaan diberi kepada yang mendaftar awal.(harap dapat disebar-sebarkan)

Mawlay

2007-06-21T11:05:00.000+12:00

~~~ Kata kawan, nasyid ini boleh melegakan hati yang sedang radang. Sahih atau tidak, hanya DIA yang tahu.

Mawlaya..
My Lord...my pray and greet always..
Upon your beloved...the best among all humans
Muhammad...the master of both worlds
and both teams of arabs and non-arabs

You, Muhammad...
You have been hurt and bothered in Allah sake..
You never lost and gave up
And now (until) Islam Ummah (population) is in the Star
You traveled from one place to another..
As the moon travels in the dark
And you continued to rise until you gain a high position

Below is more accurate version of translation but incomplete.

Mawlaya salli wa sallim da-Iman abadan‘Ala habibika khayril khalqi kullihimi(Oh my Master, send Your salutations and blessings eternallyUpon Your Beloved – the best of creation)

Muhammadun sayyidul kawnayni wath-thaqalain

(Muhammad is the leader [as the Final Prophet and the best of creation] Of the two worlds, and of Man and Jinn)

Wal fareeqaini min ‘urbin wa min ‘ajami

(Leader also of the Arabs and the non-Arabs and their kin)

A visit to Sydney,Australia

2007-06-21T07:49:00.000+12:00

OK,it has been a while since my last time posted anything here. This time, my entry is more like a normal blog; where Im going to blabbing about this that I have done lately; not a poem or any sort of literature =)

Last week, we had our flat-outing,together with Een from Christchurch. We went to SYdney! yea,people! Sydney! What an expensive outing! We were there for 4 days; stayed at Malaysian Hall.

We checked-in at Malaysia Hall right after we arrived. The hall was awesome! Very cheap rent,indeed. The surrounding was lovely and clean, the people a bit cold though =) Kak Nani was a cool host.She doesnt look like a grandmother,okey!Unbelievable =)

After that, we headed to Circular Quay,impatiently hoping to see Sydney Opera House. Really excited! We also went to the other side of the city, Marrison Point, via ferry. We crossed the Sydney Habour Bridge with the train to get back to Circular Quay.

It was hard to find a halal restaurant there especially during lunch time. I know that they have a long list of halal restaurants in Sydney but seriously, they need to do some up-dating here! Some restaurants are not there anymore! Some are really fancy; would cost us 3months of MARA monthly pocket money to dine there.huhuhu.

Later of the day, we went to Westfield Shopping Centre, ANZAC Memorial, Pool of Refelction, an old-unique church, the city Park and met Kak Nini, Melor's cousin.

Next day, we took a train to New Castle. Man, it was a very long journey!3 hours, okey! We met the KMBs people there. It was glad seeing other medic students from other unis.We were served with very yummy lunch! After that, they took us for a tour at Uni of New Castle. Seriously, I felt like I was at FRIM, very bushy and 'foresty'.
We headed to Foreshore to see the big ship which only a few meter off the shore. The ship 'Pasha' got stuck there since last Friday. We went home after 5pm and it took me another 3 hours of journey.~sigh~ Luckily, Een and I had some puzzles to make our boredom more enjoy =) That night, we had our dinner at Cafe Kasturi. We were standing in front of the shop at 2030, 30 minutes before it closed. huhuhuhu... Thank God, they let us had our dinner there. Or else...
(thanks to the girls : Dash, Hani, Fini, Mel, Kak Ti and the cars )

Darling Habour was our next stop. We wanted to go to Sydney Aquarium and Sydney Wildlife world! We commuted to get around the harbour and to the Sydney skytower. It was dark when we were up there, so, only could appreciate the lights. The Oztrek was awesome! We had our dinner at kebab store that night; Ali Baba.

The next day, we went shopping! yeay! We headed up to Paddy's market to get some souvenirs from Sydney. As everybody would thought, the place was like a Chinetown. It just the matter whether you want to buy things 'made in China' or 'genuine from Australia'. We had lunch at Kingston; UNSW people. After that, we went to Bondi beach.Eventough it was getting darker and raining, we were so adamant to go there. It was worthwhile =)
(thanks to : Aan, Nuzi, Rozana, Syu, Chaq, Hidayah and Maznah)

Well, end of our journey. That was it. Like Nuha said ~ a tale to tell~ hahhaha

Antologi GKLN

2006-08-12T19:08:00.000+12:00

BAKAL TERBIT!!! Antologi puisi pertama Grup Karyawan Luar Negara berjudul Al Andalus Menangis bakal berada di pasaran tidak lama lagi. Menampilkan hampir 130 buah puisi daripada 20 orang penulis muda GKLN termasuklah:

1) Assyaffa (Dublin, Ireland)

2) Asyrafdini (Amman, Jordan)

3) Ainun Nazrin KZ (Dublin, Ireland)

4) Atikah Azit (Dublin, Ireland)

5) Bint Al-Huda Kamarudin (Dublin, Ireland)

6) Fahd Razy (Dublin, Ireland)

7) Fazleen Razali (KMB)

8) Fieza Nur (Dublin, Ireland)

9) Firrus Hayat (Cork, Ireland)

10) Hafez Iftiqar (Melbourne, Australia)

11) Ida Sakinah Muhammad (Southampton, UK)

12) Kausar Jiwa (Loughborough, UK)

13) Khadijah Khalilah Abdul Rashid (Morocco)

14) Khairiah Jaafar (Dublin, Ireland)

15) Mardhiah Masharuddin (Galway, Ireland)

16) Mohd Bakri Bakar (Dublin, Ireland)

17) Muharikah (Dundee, Scotland)

18) Nur Firdaus Mohd Rus (Moscow, Rusia)

19) Nurani Haza (Wellington, New Zealand)

20) Syarifah Salha Syed Ahmad (Al Azhar, Mesir)

Petikan sedikit dari Kata Pengantar:

Antologi sajak ini menghimpunkan sejumlah 129 sajak daripada 20 orang penulis yang berkisar tentang pengalaman kembara yang melewati detik-detik kegetiran, kedamaian, kesedihan, harapan dan cinta yang cukup unik sifatnya. Para penyajak dalam antologi ini dilihat sedaya mungkin cuba menyembunyikan rasa kerinduan terhadap tanah air di samping berusaha menyatakan sesuatu yang baharu setelah melalui pelbagai pengalaman yang indah atau menjengkelkan.

Idea menerbitkan antologi ini bertolak daripada Sayembara Puisi Berunsur Islam Ireland-UK 2005 yang akhirnya mengesankan hingga terasa amat rugi jika tidak diantologikan. Nah! Kini telah menjadi satu sejarah baharu apabila sekumpulan anak muda yang terkeluar daripada lingkungan persuratan Melayu memberanikan diri mengisi kekosongan itu. Fahd Razy di samping menjadi salah seorang moderator gerakan Grup Karyawan Luar Negara-Ireland (GKLN-Ireland) turut berusaha memperbaiki sajak-sajak rakannya dengan kekentalan yang tegar. Penulisan, dan bahasa, baginya merupakan satu anugerah seni yang amat mahal dan besar ertinya. Antologi ini, akhirnya berjaya dilahirkan setelah melalui proses kandungan yang panjang. -Shamsudin Othman-

Petikan sedikit dari Kata Penerbit:

Memang buku yang sedang anda pegang ini ialah sebuah
buku cetakan konvensional. Namun asal usul buku ini
ialah ribuan jam-orang yang telah dicurahkan di alam
siber oleh ahli-ahli GKLN melalui penerbitan karya
serta interaksi pada talian, sama ada secara masa
sebenar atau melalui papan-papan nota maya.

Antologi ini tidak mungkin wujud tanpa internet. GKLN
tidak akan ada tanpa internet. Bayangkan 20 orang
penulis yang berada di pelbagai lokasi yang jauh,
malah berlainan benua, mengembleng tenaga melahirkan
bahan untuk buku ini. Malah, kami percaya, ada antara
penyumbang karya dalam antologi ini yang tidak akan
menulis puisi tanpa peluang belajar dan berinteraksi
melalui internet dengan rakan-rakan yang berada di
lokasi fizikal yang jauh.

Small Voices From Gaza by FADH RAZY (Dublin)

2006-06-03T12:53:00.000+12:00

This morning,
the wall they planted raised with the early sun
climbing hightowards the shadowy sky.
There is hatred inside it;
there are flames and blood
burying our scattered voices that cried.
Let it be, said mum, as our prayers do so
flowing high
towards the loving sky.
Pray my dear, pray silence and high
for the sweetness of Life it is not
but for the thickness of death that we fought.
Let us reside in the land of fi sabilillah
soon we breathe in its harmonies
as the cool breeze awaits us There.

There they came with rifles in their hands
depicting boundaries here on the sands(here, the grave is ours; the estate is theirs)Alhamdulillah, whispered mum
the dust here is more fragrant
the farm here is more fertile
like a land of spring flowers
sprinkled by our blood and loves.
Our iman is never killed here.

Moments before mum went high
embracing death with her sweetest smile
said she, “This land is amanah from Him
let your names be written on its sands
not with pen neither with hands
but with jihad that would never end.”

This morning,
the wall they planted raised with the early sun
mounting high
towards the smoky sky
hence do our loves fly high
filling the sky with iman that never dies.

Fahd Razy
Dublin, Ireland.
(as published in The Muslim News (UK) http://www.muslimnews.co.uk/paper/index.php?article=2447)

DARUL TAQWA & DATO' DR JOHAR

2006-06-03T12:37:00.000+12:00

Sebuah cerpen Islamic yang cukup indah bila kita menghayatinya...Serasa berada di Raudah, taman hasilan insani dalam SYUKUR 21...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Digosok-gosok lagi matanya. Dia seakan-akan tidak percaya apa yang dilihatnya. Apakah aku kembali ke zaman unta, ke zaman kolot dan purba? begitulah detik hatinya. Dikesat hidungnya yang berair dengan kertas tisu. Kertas itu kemudiannya dicampakkannya ke tepi jalan.
"Assalamualaikum, pakcik.. tolong kutip kertas itu. Nanti pakcik rugi di Akhirat. Kebersihan itu separuh daripada iman."
Bunyi satu suara di belakangnya. Ia bingkas berpaling. Siapa berani menegurku? Aku Datuk Dr.Johar, orang besar negara ini.
"Pakcik, biarlah saya tolong kutip,sebelum Penguatkuasa Iman dan Islam datang. Nanti didendanya pakcik," kata budak kecil berpakaian putih dengan serban yang melilit kepalanya.
Datuk Dr. Johar membetulkan tali lehernya. Ah, kalau dia datang biar aku sogok dengan duit ini . Siapa yang tak kelabu tengok duit merah, biru berlapis-lapis. Namun, Datuk Dr. Johar terus hairan. Bangunan pencakar langit dengan wajah pembangunan yang sofistikated. Ada helikopter bersimpang -siur bergerak di udara. Railbus bercerakah ke sana sini. Bullet train meluncur bagaikan panah dilepaskan dari busurnya. Kesibukan yang layak dipikul oleh manusia-manusia moden.
Namun peliknya, pakaian mereka, tingkah-laku mereka...Ah, di mana aku sekarang ini, gerutu hati Datuk Dr.Johar.
"Hoi budak, Aku dimana sekarang ?" soalnya kepada budak yang menegurnya tadi.
Budak itu tersenyum. Mukanya cerah dan indah. Tenang dan bersuara lunak. Apakah ini Aladin, budak Arab dengan lampu ajaibnya: teka-teki itu terus menerjah kepala dan kotak fikir Datuk Dr. Johar. Budak itu membuka mulut hendak menjawab. Belum sempat,tiba-tiba datang sebuah kereta jenis Ferrari, merah dan bercahaya. Keluar dua orang lelaki dengan pakaian yang hebat dan segak. Serban mereka berwarna hitam berjalur biru.
"Assalamualaikum....Maaf, pakcik. Kami terpaksa mendenda pakcik. Kesalahan membuang sampah ini sudah belasan tahun tidak berlaku di Darul Taqwa ini. Kami terpaksa mendenda pakcik. Kebersihan itu lambang iman. Negara ini menitikberatkan iman.... Pakcik didenda, 30 kali subhanallah, 30 kali astaghfirullah dan selawat 100 kali."
Kata pegawai penguatkuasa itu dengan lembut. Datuk Dr. Johar tersentak. Apa namanya undang-undang ini. Tak ada dewan bandaraya di seluruh pelusuk dunia mengamalkannya. Dia tercengang-cengang. Namun egonya membumbung tinggi. Apa ? Dia nak marahkan aku ?
" Ni duit lima ratus. Saya tak mahu buat apa yang kamu minta. Kita selesaikan di sini saja. Berapa gaji yang kamu dapat sebulan ? " tanyanya angkuh.
"Pakcik, kita bekerja kerana Allah, bukan kerana gaji. Lagipun duit bukan ada harga lagi di zaman ini. Semuanya dipandang sebagai alat, bukan matlamat," kata pegawai berjanggut dan berjambang itu dengan tenang.
"Oh, oh .... maafkan kami, pakcik. Kami nak tanya sikit, kenapa pakcik pakai pakaian zaman dulu? Mana pakcik dapat pakaian macam itu ?" Tanya pegawai itu pula.
Aku yang gila, atau dia yang gila? Detak hati Datuk Dr. Johar. Dia berjalan ke arah kereta Ferrari yang berkilat itu. Melalui cerminnya dia nampak perawakannya dengan jelas. Tak ada yang salah. Tali leher, kemeja dan kotnya masih kemas dan segak. Daripada jenama yang mahal pula - Pierre Cardin. Kasutnya hitam berkilat daripada jenis Bally. Ah! Aku masih unggul. Lelaki tampan, lambang status dan kejayaan. Dia yang kolot, dia yang ketinggalan zaman.
"Anak muda, pakaian pakcik ni pakaian pemimpin. Pakcik orang besar di negara ini. Pakcik dah keliling dunia dengan pakaian ni. "
"Pakcik, itu pakaian puluhan tahun yang lampau. Ketika Islam belum berdaulat di Darul Taqwa ni. Moyang-moyang kami dulu saja yang pertahankan pakaian macam itu. Itu pakaian orang kuno di Barat. Sekarang, kami hanya dapat lihat gambar-gambarnya saja. Itupun dalam buku sejarah zaman peralihan Islam. Orang Barat zaman moden ini dah berpakaian macam yang kami pakai. Tak ada orang yang pakai macam tu kecuali orang-orang bukan Islam yang dijamin kebebasannya dalam sebuah negara Islam seperti darul Taqwa."
Datuk Dr. Johar termanggu-manggu kebingungan. "Di mana aku sebenarnya ni?" Dia bertanya lagi kepada pegawai penguatkuasa dan budak kecil di tepi jalan. Dia masih kenal, Ini Jalan Chow Kit ditengah bandar Kuala lumpur. Masih ada Masjid Pakistan dan Masjid Kampung Baru di sebelah sana. Tetapi itu sahaja, yang lain tak ada.
"Pakcik di bandar Mutmainnah. Ini jalan Mujahadah, namanya. Saya Haji Din,Pegawai Penguatkuasa Iman dan Islam. Diberi amanah untuk memastikan kebersihan lahir batin bandar ini."
Apa? Bandaraya Kuala Lumpur dah jadi Bandaraya Mutmainnah? Jalan Chow Kit dah jadi jalan Mujahadah? Apa dia mutmainnah? Apa dia mujahadah tu? Apa yang terjadi ni? Soalan-soalan itu terus menyerang benak Datuk Dr. Johar.
"Pakcik, kami rayu pakcik membayar denda tadi. Kalau tak boleh sekarang, lepas sembahyang nanti pakcik laksanakanlah. Demi kebaikan pakcik dunia dan Akhirat..."
Tiba-tiba terdengar suara orang memberi salam dari jauh.Nyaring dan jelas. Seorang lelaki pertengahan umur berlari kepada seorang pegawai penguatkuasa.
"Tuan, hukumlah saya. Saya mengumpat tadi. Ya Allah ! seksa Neraka amat pedih..Tolonglah, tuan. Hukum saya di dunia sebelum saya di hukum di Akhirat!" rayu lelaki itu.
Pegawai tadi berpaling ke arah lelaki yang baru datang, dan kesempatan itu diambil oleh Datuk Dr. Johar. Ia lari sekuat-kuat hati.Peliknya mereka tidak mengejarnya. Ia terlepas ...Lega.Dahaga , lapar mula menggigit tekak dan perutnya. Dia mesti makan.Dia perlu minum. Tapi di mana? Tiba-tiba ia terdengar suara komputer dari sound system di tepi-tepi jalan :
"Assalamualaikum, kepada seluruh penduduk Kota Mutmainnah. Syed Al Abrar, hartawan besar berada di jalan Uwais Al Qarni. Dia merayu fakir miskin supaya sudi menerima sedekahnya. Hari ini ia menjamu nasi dan minuman. Sila datang!"
Datuk Dr. Johar orang besar Darul Ghurur itu tidak akan mencemar duli menagih nasi. Dia ada duit, mampu membelinya sendiri. Dia pun masuk ke sebuah restoran di tepi jalan. Di situ penuh dengan pelanggan. Semuanya berserban dan berjubah.Matanya tak betah lagi melihat semua itu.Tapi kerana lapar ia masuk juga.
"Maaf tuan, itu pintu masuk untuk wanita. Di sini untuk lelaki."
"Ceh! Diskriminasi, doubel-standard, lelaki dipisahkan daripada perempuan."Mukanya dicemekkan kepada tuan kedai yang menegurnya. "Ada restoran lain yang mengamalkan persamaan taraf antara lelaki dan perempuan? Saya tak suka pemisahan-pemisahan macam ni!".
Lelaki itu tersenyum. "Empat puluh tahun yang lalu adalah.Sekarang ni kita sudah bebas dan merdeka. Zaman penjajahan fikiran dan jiwa sudah berlalu. Tak ada diskriminasi wanita di sini, tuan. Amir Muhammad,pemimpin Darul Taqwa telah menaikkan taraf wanita tanpa Women's Libs.Kalau tuan ada isteri dan membawanya bersama, sila masuk ke sana. Di sana ada tempat khusus untuk makan bersama isteri dan anak perempuan,"terangnya. Mukanya jernih.Serban dan jubahnya serba putih.
"Ini bertentangan dengan prinsip demokrasi. Sistem pemerintahan kapitalis, sosialis, nasionalis malah komunis sekalipun tak macam ni..."
"Masya-Allah pakcik, jangan disebut lagi nama-nama ideologi tu. Semuanya telah termaktub sebagai ajaran-ajaran sesat dalam perlembagaan Darul Taqwa ini. Tak ada orang lagi yang berpegang dengan fahaman jahiliyyah tu... Subhanallah...." Keluh tuan restoran itu sambil mengurut-ngurut dadanya. Ekor serbannya bergoyang-goyang ketika ia manggeleng -gelengkan kepalanya.
Ah! Persetankan semua itu. Perut aku lapar. Datuk Dr. Johar pun duduk. "Nasi beriani sepinggan !"ujarnya kepada pelayan.
"Dalam pinggan, tuan?" tanya pelayan itu kehairanan.
"Ya ! Apa peliknya?",

"Baik,tuan.Tapi semua orang berebut-rebut pahala makan berjamaah. Tuan makan seorang ?" tanya pelayan berkulit hitam itu.
Dia tambah geram.direnung ke hadapan, iaitu ketempat orang menikmati makanan.Tidak ada meja makan hanya hamparan permaidani tebal dengan dulang-dulang indah yang tersusun rapi. Mereka makan satu dulang. Yek! Jijiknya. Ah! Aku tetap aku. Aku ada pendirian! Nasi beriani dengan ayam goreng kegemarannya terhidang di atas kain putih khas.
"Jemput makan dengan nama Allah yang memberi rezeki," kata pelayan itu dengan sopan.
Datuk Dr.Johar makan dengan seleranya. Dewan makan itu berhawa dingin lengkap dengan alat TV dan pita videonya sekali. Dia makan seorang diri bagai kera sumbang.
" Ya Allah, apa musibah yang menimpa ana Subuh tadi. Ana masbuk dalam sembahyang jemaah Subuh, " ujar seorang lelaki muda dengan wajah yang kecewa. Suapnya perlahan. Macam tak lalu makan saja
"Anta tak cuba tampung dengan amal makrufat yang lain ?"tanya sahabatnya di sebelah.Dia nampak simpati.
Datuk Dr. Johar pasang telinga saja. "Ana nak sedekahkan lima ribu ringgit ...malang nasib ana. Ana tunggu lima jam di tepi jalan tadi, seorang pun tak mahu terima sedekah ana " Keluhnya."Susah kita sekarang. Orang miskin yang bolot pahala redha, pahala sabar. Mereka patutnya bantulah kita.Tolonglah terima sedekah kita.Ah, susahnya jadi orang kaya macam kita ini. Dahlah nanti di Akhirat banyak hisabnya, Di dunia orang tak sudi pula terima sedekah kita.”
“Oh...!” keluh seorang yang sama-sama makan dengan lelaki muda tadi."Kalaulah kita hidup zaman moyang kita dulu, kan dapat kita korbankan harta yang banyak ini. Saya pun dapat harta ni melalui warisan daripada bapa, yang diwarisi oleh datuk saya daripada moyangnya. Kita tunggulah bila kerajaan nak bangunkan projek negara atau nak gunakan duit untuk kemaskinikan kementerian-kementeriannya.... saya nak labur habis-habisan. Biar jadi saham Akhirat," kata pemuda itu menutup perbualan. Mereka pun makan dengan perlahan -lahan.
Datuk Dr.Johar makin pelik. "Tambah nasi sepinggan lagi!" ujarnya kepada pelayan restoran.
"Demi kesihatan tuan, saya nasihatkan ... berhentilah sebelum kenyang.Maaf tuan saya terpaksa mengatakan demikian. Saya pelayan kedai merangkap pegawai perubatan ....," kata pelayan itu lagi.
"Apa? Awak pegawai perubatan? Seorang doktor ke? Kelulusan luar negeri atau dalam negeri? Awak sepatutnya bertugas di hospital, bukan di restoran!" bentaknya. Marah campur geram.
"Tuan, mana ada hospital sekarang.Yang ada khusus untuk bayi, kanak-kanak dan wanita, juga para mubaligh dan mujahid yang cedera ketika berjuang. Tuan, kalau tuan amalkan makan hanya bila lapar dan berhenti sebelum kenyang, tuan akan sihat, insya-Allah. Kita tak perlu hospital!”
"Bodoh, kalau macam tu, macam mana nak rawat pesakit kencing manis macam aku ini ?" leternya perlahan-lahan.
"Penyakit kencing manis? Tuan menghidapnya? Saya ada baca buku perubatan edisi tahun 1990 dulu. Sekarang penyakit tu dah tak ada siapa menghidapnya....."
"Batalkan saja oder saya tadi, banyak sangat cakap, boring. Saya perlu hiburan sekarang ...Di mana boleh saya dapati ?" tanyanya.
"Di sana, tuan. Melalui butang pada sistem komputer di sebelah sana, tuan boleh dapat apa saja hiburan yang menyegarkan. Tak payah risau pasal bil. Percuma.”
Datuk Dr. Johar, orang besar negara, melangkah hebat ke tempat yang ditunjukkan. Berbagai -bagai butang dengan bermacam warna berkelip-kelip. Sangat rumit tapi kekeliruan itu dapat disembunyikannya. Dia malu kalau-kalau dengan pakaian jenama Pierre Cardinnya ia masih kelihatan kolot.. Entah di mana falsafah moden Datuk Dr. Johar. Pada pakaiannyakah atau otaknya? Diberanikan hatinya; satu butang warna hitam ditekan . Dalam skrin timbul tajuk besar-KHAUF. Apa bendanya ni? Kemudian menyusul nama-nama lagu: MATI ITU TERLALU SAKIT, ALAM BARZAKH YANG PASTI, MIZAN NOKTAH PENYESALAN, IZRAEL DATANG TIBA-TIBA Oh...Oh ... seram sejuk tubuhnya. Apa nama lagu macam ini? Biarlah menaruh harapan sikit.
Hatiku macam kristal, boleh pecah dengan lagu-lagu macam tu. aku belum nak mati lagi, protes hati Datuk Dr.Johar.
Dia beralih ke butang hijau tanpa lengah terus menekannya. Tertera di atas skrin komputer: RAJA'. kemudian tersembul tajuk-tajuk lagu. Dibacanya dengan teliti... FIRDAUSI MELAMBAIMU, DEMI CINTA DAN RAHMAT-NYA, KEINDAHAN JANNAH YANG ABADI….. Kepala datuk Dr. Johar makin pusing. Semuanya tentang Akhirat. Apa nak jadi ni? "Tak ada lagu yang hot sikit ke?" tanyanya kepada seorang anak muda berjubah coklat di sebelahnya.
"Nanti ya pakcik . Saya pilihkan lagu yang paling hot sekarang ni.Top-hit anak-anak muda sekarang..."
"Ya, ya saya setuju," balas Datuk Dr. Johar. Telinganya dihalakan kepada sistem suara di dinding restoran itu. Dia ingin dengar lagu-lagu kegemaran muda-mudi daerah asing itu.
Ayat suci Al-Quran a... "Eh ...ni suara orang mengaji,"

"Nanti dulu pakcik,selepas ni ada terjemahannya kemudian baru menyusul lagunya," kata pemuda berjubah cokat itu sambil matanya di tutup rapat-rapat. Asyik sekali dia.

Kemudian getaran suara bergema
.... Cintaku berlabuh di persada rahmat-Mu
mendamba kasih yang tidak berhujung
mengutip sayang di hamparan cinta suci.
Inilah getaran hatiku memburu cinta.......
stanza hati merindu Ilahi!"

Datuk Dr. Johar tak tahan lagi. Ia merengus dan pergi ke kaunter bayaran.
"Maaf tuan, duit ini duit lama. Kalau tuan tak mampu bayar kami halalkan sajalah ..."
Datuk Dr. Johar makin geram. Dia menderam dan berkata " Saya bayar dengan kad kredit saja!" Dia hulurkan kad kredit warna keemasannya.
"Maaf sekali lagi, tuan. Kad kredit ini bukan yang boleh kami terima, kami halalkan sajalah."
"Tak, pantang saya minta sedekah. Saya ada harta simpanan berbungkal-nungkal emas di bank. Takkan saya nak bawa, nanti disambar pencuri."
" Darul Taqwa tak ada pencuri, tuan. Pencuri terakhir telah dipotong tangannya 30 tahun yang lalu ketika minta dihukum di hadapan hakim kerana takutkan seksa Neraka."
"Ah, aku tak nak dengar semuanya.makin gila aku dibuatnya," pekik Datuk Dr. Johar lantas meluru keluar dari restoran itu. Di luar,semua pandangan menyakitkan hati. Mengapa orang kolot ini mentadbir teknologi begini tinggi.
Pemandu bullet train berserban merah tersenyumkepadanya. Pilot helikopter dengan tulisan 'MAKRUFAT AIR TRANSPORT' sibuk dengan urusannya. Di seberang jalan tertegakpapan iklan dengan tulisan yang jelas :"KELUARGA BAHAGIA GEMBIRA DENGAN SUNNAH ". Di papan itu terpampang gambar seorang lelaki dan perempuan berserta anak-anak meraka. Semuanya berserban, berjubah dan berpurdah.
Isy,meluatnya! Di jalan-jalan raya suasana meriah dengan salam dan senyum. Baginya,semua itu seolah-olah menyindir dan mengejek. Kenapa jadi begini? Kenapa? Kenapa? Kenapa? Mengapa? Mengapa? Mengapa? Datuk Dr. Johar tiba-tiba menjerit. Tekanan dalam jiwanya yang kian tersumbat itu tiba-tiba meletus.
"Datuk..!Datuk..! Bangun, Datuk. Ada berita buruk !"
Datuk Dr.Johar bangun. Ia tertidur sewaktu menunggu keputusan pilihanraya hari itu.
"Kenapa? Parti kita kalah? Aku kalah? "tanya Datuk Dr. Johar.
"Tidak, Tuk. Rakyat bangun memprotes. Mereka tak mahu demokrasi.Mereka tak mahu pilihanraya..."
"Habis, mereka mahu apa?"
"Mereka mahu Islam, Datuk!"
"Islam ? " keluh Datuk Dr. Johar. Digosok-gosok lagi matanya.

"ISLAM KAN TETAP DIJULANG WALAUPUN IA DITENTANG..ITULAH JANJI ILAHI"

"Pasakkan Sabat Teguhkan Istiqamah"

BANGSA NUSA

2006-05-26T23:42:00.000+12:00

Takkan Melayu hilang di dunia
Kata azimat Hang Tuah
Tapi akan melayu di bumi sendiri
Kalau sikap masih begini
Habis beras tertumpah di tangan lain

Baik sungguh kita
Menyanjung si celik yang sahih kebutaannya
Malang sungguh kita
Menolak mati kalimah keramat sang pendeta
Jangan nanti kita seperti bumi bertuah Aotearoa
Orang asli menempek mencari ruang di taman sendiri

Kiasu itu perlu
DEB itu membantu
Inspirasi itu petunjuk
Tapi usah sampai kita menuli
Gah sungguh dengan hak ciptaan mereka
Karya sendiri dicemuh dimaki

Saudaraku
Usunglah jenazah semangat semalam
Kebumikan ia jauh ke bawah
Roh baru akan mendiami jasadmu
Menjulang tinggi martabat diri

Saat itu nanti
Jangan lupa menunduk ke bumi
Sebab yang di bawah tak selalu mendongak
Jika lalai kali ini
Balik semula ke asal lah kita

------

24th April 06
Churton Park

Senyap

2006-04-22T00:24:00.000+12:00

~~~Untuk teman sekatil...

Rumah ini senyap sekali
Tawa hilai lenyap terus
Gegak gempita langsung tiada

Kamar ini sepi sekali
Semua rahsia terpendam rapi
Shh..diam semua
Biar jari menari rancak di papan kekunci

Bilik ini aman sekali
Mata melekat terus di maya
Realiti sudah tak diambil peduli
Ketawa sindiri tak mahu berkongsi

KEKASIH ( Lagu : Ibrahim Bachik Lirik : SN Datuk Dr Usman Awang )

2006-04-22T00:18:00.000+12:00

Kekasih
Akan ku pintal buih-buih
Menjadi tali mengikatmu
Akan ku anyam gelombang-gelombang
Menjadi hamparan ranjang tidur mu
Akan ku tenun awan gemawan
Menjadi selindang
Menudungi rambut mu
Akan ku jahit bayu gunung
Menjadi baju pakaian malam mu
Akan ku petik bintang timur
Menjadi kerongsang meyinari dada mu
Akan ku jolok bulan gerhana
Menjadi lampu menyuluh rindu mu
Akan ku rebahkan matahari
Menjadi laut malam mu
Menghirup sakar madu mu
Kekasih...
Hitunglah mimpi-mimpi
Yang membunuh realiti
Dari syurga illusi

Lagu Puisi by A.Ramlee

2006-04-22T00:09:00.000+12:00

Katakan pada ku
Sejak puisi mengalir
Sejak langit meratap
Mengapa air mata ku terasa baru
Baru bagai embun
Terasa baru

Burung rembang membuka sayap
Daun-daun menjadi lebih redup
Aku lewat lagi berdayung di depan mu
Kau siap lagi berdiri di tebing

Katakan pada ku
Sajak mana yang menjelma
Sajak maut menyentuh
Mengapa sepi jiwa mu
Terasa baru
Bagai pedih ku terasa baru
Semua pohon menjadi sepohon di samping mu
Semua detik menjadi sedetik di mata mu
Sungai ini pun terasa gemuruh
Menyambut semarak api di bahu mu

2006-01-12T20:38:00.000+13:00

TRIBUTE TO STUDIOUS COTTAGE

“Friends forever” you promised
Together till the end
We did everything with each other
You were my best friend

When I was sad, you were by my side
When I was scared, you felt my fear
You were my best support
If I need you, you were there

You were the greatest friend
You always knew what to say
You made everything seem better
As long as we had each other
Everything would be okay

But somewhere, along the line
We slowly come apart
I was here, you were there
Tore a hole in my heart

Things were changing
Our cheerful music reversed its tune
It was like having salad without pepper
A sun without its moon

Suddenly we were miles apart
Two different people with nothing the same
It was as if we hadn’t been friend
Although we knew deep in our hearts
Neither one of us was to blame

You had made many friends
And luckily so had I
But that didn’t change the hurt
The loss of our friendship made me cry

As we grow older, things must change
But they don’t always have to end
Eventhough it is different now
You will always be my friend

The Good All Days -1996

2006-01-12T20:36:00.000+13:00

DALAM DIRI

Dalam kesepian
Kita bagai dihempap derita
Dalam sungai diri
Penuh lumpur dan noda
Penuh kerikil dan kaca
Betapa diri dihimpau jauh
Terlalu jauh sehingga kita tidak
Mengenal diri sendiri
Keterasingan yang menyapa
Mengejutkan kita dari sepi
Yang panjang

Di sini
Aku kembali ke dalam diri
Mencari kekuatan nurani
Menyelak kekuatan diri

Di sini
Di hadapan cermin
Aku mengenali diriku ini

Tribute to arwahyarhamah NURULHUDA MOHD RIDHWAN-1997

2006-01-12T20:28:00.000+13:00

TEMAN
Dari raut wajahmu
Aku terlihat sejuta keresahan
Kebingungan dan kesedihan
Yang melanda dirimu
Hingga tanpa kau sedari
Airmatamu berguguran
Bak permata dilautan biru

Teman
Inginku kongsi bersama
Agar dapat kita hadapi bersama
Segala cabaran hidup
Denan penuh kesabaran
Dan ketaqwaan
Seraya berdoa
Kehadapan yang Maha Esa

Namun
Takdir telah menentukan
Kita terpaksa berpisah

Kini
Kau telah pergi dariku
Pemergianmu yang tidak akan kembali
Aku berharap agar
Kau gembira di sana
Setelah hilang segala
Kesakitan yang kau tanggung selama ini

TaKkAn MeLaYu HiLaNg Di DuNia

2005-10-29T13:14:00.000+13:00

Takkan Melayu Hilang Di dunia

Gemalainya tari seni diwarisi
Zaman berzaman gemilang
Teruna dan dara adat dimahkota
Takkan Melayu hilang di dunia

Anak jati bertandang di negeri orang
Biarpun berhujan emas
Hujan batu kita lebih sejahtera
Takkan Melayu hilang di dunia

Pusaka budaya khazanah berharga
Janganlah dipersia
Wahai anak watan diwasiatkan

Pertahan kedaulatan bangsa
Arus perubahan oh kuasa Tuhan kejarlah hajat di jiwa
Namun peganglah kata wira laksmana
Takkan Melayu hilang di dunia

PoiNtS To PoNdeR

2005-10-29T12:41:00.000+13:00

1. Be truth to yourself, and follow your heart.

2.It's not always rainbows and butterflies, It's compromise that moves us along

3. Be understanding to your enemies, be loyal to your friends, be strong enough to face the world each day, be week enough to know that you can't everything alone, be generous to people who need your help, be frugal with that you need yourself, lastly be sure of your final destination, in case you're going to the wrong way

4. Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road.Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.So make the best of this test, and don't ask why.It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

PAGI --- created by UnAi

2005-09-23T07:11:00.000+12:00

Bangunku dari lena
Dikala teman di sisi
Meloncat dari katil dengan kepanasan
Aku sedar dengan kekuatan
Bahawa pagi ini
Akan memberi satu lagi
Kekuatan yang teguh
Dan nafas yang baru
Aku berasa sentosa
Dikalangan sahabatku
Yang sentiasa bangun pagi
Dan berbakti kepada Illahi
Oh pagi yang indah…

KeRuNSiNgaN?

2005-05-31T17:16:00.000+12:00

Sedih
Satu perasaan yang tak tahu mana munculnya
Tak tahu apa sebabnya
Seingat kita tiada stimulasi atau aura
Terus datang tanpa disuruh
Bertandang terus dalam hati ini
Lagi hebat kalau bermastautin dalam diri
Habis ranap fungsi otak yang beribu
Kawalan diri dah terhapus
Waktu itu muncullah satu lagi perasaan
Marah namanya

Mulalah tangan mengangkat amanat
Menunding kepada siapa pun kita tak tahu
Atas alasan apa memang kita tak hirau
Yang kita tahu,marah perlu dikeluarkan
Semua disekelilng diherdik
Amukan berlaku tanpa batas

Bila reda
Baru sedar
Istighfar lancar dibibir
Barulah akal dapat menakluki semula nafsu
Waktu itu
Entah apa yang dah berlaku
Kita pun tak tahu
Mungkin sudah menguris hati sesiapa
Apa pun terjadi
Kita sudah tersilap langkah
Nak buat apa lagi...

Sesalan pula mengongkong jiwa
Serba salah membelungi
Terus diatur langkah semula
Membetulkan apa yang salah
Bila semua sudah selesai
Senyuman dibibir mengulum
Kita jadi riang
Tapi jangan lupa
Nanti dia datang lagi

"KETENANGAN & KEBAHAGIAAN UMPAMA HEMBUSAN DARI LANGIT, DITURUNKAN KE LUBUK HATI ORG2 BERIMAN, MEREKA AKAN TETAP BERHATI TEGUH DI KALA ORG MENGALAMI KEGONCANGAN, MEREKA TETAP YAKIN DI KALA ORG PENUH KERAGUAN, MEREKA TETAP SABAR KETIKA ORANG BERKELUH-KESAH DAN MEREKA TETAP BERLAPANG DADA DI KALA ORANG SEDANG RUNSING"

SaBaR...

2005-05-19T07:29:00.000+12:00

BERSABARLAH by Warisan

Bersabarlah
Dan bertawakal lah
Dalam kehidupan ini
Sesuatu yang terjadi itu
Tentu ada hikmahnya

Perderitaan yang engkau alami
Hanyalah suatu dugaan
Dan janganlah kau bersedih hati
Tuhan Maha Penyayang

Diriku memahami
Derita yang kau rasakan
Diriku menyayangi dirimu

Linangan airmatamu
Hanya Tuhan yang tahu
Pedih yang kau sanjungi tak tertahan

Sabarlah wahai insan
Yang sedang menderita
Janganlah putus asa

Kasih yang kau harapkan
Menanti di hadapan
Bahagia yang kau rindu
Terbuka di akhirat

Kuhulurkan tangan ini
Sebagai tanda kasih
Semoga kau memahami
Niatku suci murni

M.Nasir & Ebiet G.Ade ----Tsunami membawa amaran

2005-05-09T23:34:00.000+12:00

BERITA KEPADA KAWAN by Ebiet G.Ade (1995)

Perjalanan ini terasa sangat menyedihkan
Sayang engkau tak duduk di sampingku kawan
Banyak cerita yang mestinya kau saksikan
Di tanah kering berbatuan

Tubuhku tergoncang dihempas batu jalanan
Hati tergetar menambah kering rerumputan
Perjalanan ini seperti jadi saksi
Gembala kecil menangis sedih

Kawan cuba dengar apa jawabnya
Ketika ia ku tanya mengapa
Bapa ibunya telah lama mati
Ditelan bencana tanah ini

Sesampainya di laut kukabarkan semuanya
Kepada karang kepada ombak kepada matahari
Tetapi semua diam tetapi semua bisu
Tinggallah aku sendiri terpaku menatap langit

Barangkali di sana jawabnya
Mengapa di tanahku terjadi bencana
Mungkin Tuhan mulai bosan melihat tingkah kita
Yang selalu salah dan bangga dengan dosa- dosa
Atau alam mulai enggan bersahabat dengan kita
Cuba kita bertanya pada rumput yang bergoyang

Soalan tak terucap - by Firdaus

2005-05-09T19:41:00.000+12:00

Andai aku tersadai di pulau sepi sendirian,
Terkapai merangkak menghirup sisa kehidupan,
Setiakah engkau menanti kepulanganku yang tak pasti?
Sudikah engkau menghadap Kaa'bah sambil mencium bumi?
Meninggalkan hiruk-pikuk panggilan pekan duniawi?
Menangis berdoa agarku selamat dan masih bernadi?
Dan bagaikan ibunya Ismail (a.s), terlari-lari bersai,
Mencari sebahagian dirimu di dalam hatiku ini,
Melaksana sumpah setia yang termaktub bersama,
Bukan bulan bintang sahaja yang menjadi saksi,
Bahkan Allah (s.w.t), ibu-bapa, saudara-mara juga Tok Kadi

Bila tiba masanya untuk engkau berdiri berdikari,
Mampukah Srikandimu menyerlahkan sinaran?
Menyuluh pancar keberanian di lubang kegelitaan?
Merangkul cita-cita di hadapan panah cabaran,
Di padang pasir, sanggupkah engkau menanam benih harapan ?
Berbaja kesabaran, doa-doa dan segelumit keyakinan
______________________________________________

Renunglah mataku, wahai isteri,
Genggam erat tanganku, ya habibie,
Bolehkah api cinta kita tetap menyala, tiada dimamah usia ?
Tetap percaya kasih sejati luas semesta, tiada penghujungnya ?

Sayang, antara pergi dan pulangku,
Jagalah diri, maruah dan martabatmu,
Dan juga cahaya mata kita bersama,
Jika sayang berkelapangan masa,
Jenguk-jenguklah ke luar jendela,"Mana kekasihku belum kunjung tiba.."
Bagai Nabi Adam (a.s) dan Siti Hawa,
Di jabal Rahmah bertemu akhirnya,
Sambutlah kepulangan suami tercinta,
Dengan dakapan mesra di pintu syurga

FrOm WeLLy...memang benar, jauh perjalanan, banyak pengalaman

2005-04-29T21:43:00.000+12:00

TOLEH

Diri ini masih cari
Mana aku yang dulu
Mana aku yang lama
Dalam sedih mencari jawapan
Dalam kalut mencari balasan
Keputusan yang mengubah pendirian
Juga mengubah nilai diri

Dalam kebuk yang kelam
Dalam ruang yang sempit
Tiada satu pun bebayang aku
Mungkin kerana lampunya malap
Atau memang tiada cahaya langsung
Pantulan diri tiada kelihatan

Memang kawan cermin diri
Tapi mengapa kawan tak mencerminkan diri sendiri
Nampak diri macam sempurna
Sebab sahabat kita memang sehabis baik
Kurang cacat celanya

Tapi, bila renung balik dalam diri
Tak terkira kelemahan diri
Tak terbilang kekurangan jiwa
Rasa kosong menyelinap jiwa
Kenapa kini baru terasa?

Dulu, taklah sebegini
Sekarang, hilang sudah segala seri
Bila usia makin tinggi
Nafsu pulak mengawal diri
Akal kini kutolakkan ke tepi
Apa lagi iman di hati
Hingga hilang pertimbangan diri
Sampai habis caturan hidup untuk diperjudikan

Bangunlah diri
Insafi kesalahan
Tangisilah kekesalan
Aturkan langkah maju ke depan
Sesekala tolehlah ke belakang
Mungkin ada sesuatu yang berharga
Tercicir mungkin ketika sibuk ke depan
Berharga sungguh untuk zaman yang akan datang

AfTeR A WhiLe ...

2005-04-23T13:45:00.000+12:00

JAUH
Diri ini masih keliru
Apakah itu satu restu
Atau sesuatu yang kita kabur
Tak tahu apa erti rindu
Tak tahu apa erti kasih
Tak tahu apa erti setia

Jiwa ini masih gelap
Apakah itu satu tanda
Atau sesautu yang kita tertanya-tanya
Tak tahu apa erti sendiri
Tak tahu apa erti sunyi
Tak tahu apa erti sayu

Sahabat, diri ini masih gundar
Mengapa hati telah berubah
Jika setia masih ada
Jika rindu masih dirasa
Jika kasih masih bertaut
Biar sedampang gelora ujian
Biar meruntun hati dek gegak gempita
Ukhwah terbina tentu utuh bersatu

Kawan, hati ini masih resah
Mengapa jiwa telah beranjak
Jika sendiri satu solusi
Jika sunyi satu yang pasti
Jika sayu adalah abadi
Biar aku menjadi saksi
Sesuatu tragedi menghiasi memori

Terima kasih atas segalanya
Apa yang diberi dan yang diterima
Atas dasar persahabatan sejati
Ukhwah dirahmati Yang Maha Pemurah
Biar kita jauh
Biar kita berbeza
Namun, masih bernafas satu nada
Masih menuju matlamat yang ulung
Seperti pujangga bermadah
DEKAT TAPI JAUH….